Category: Maryland

absurd politics, Community Guidelines, Maryland, maryland man, People & Personalities, Politics, Sports & Whatever, State & Local, Stupid White People

Bill Ferguson Reveals He Is Also a Swimmer, Maryland Immediately Names Pool After Him

Maryland Senate President Bill Ferguson surprised residents by revealing he is a swimmer while discussing Baltimore’s pools and swim programs. His revelation quickly became a humorous topic, sparking speculation about his swimming style and leading to playful political commentary. Observers even humorously suggested legislative recognition for his aquatic prowess. Continue reading Bill Ferguson Reveals He Is Also a Swimmer, Maryland Immediately Names Pool After Him

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
censorship, crime, Crime Beat, Criminal Court, Culture & Absurdity, Entertainment, Government, Hobbies & Things, Judicial, Law Enforcement, Maryland, maryland man, Overreach, Patriotism, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, Psychos & Crazies, public safety, Stupid White People, Yes, This Is Real

Baltimore County Man Blows Up His Own Cadillac Limo for Birthday, Maryland Responds by Criminalizing Patriotism

A Baltimore County man allegedly celebrated his birthday by blowing up his own Cadillac limo, proving Maryland still produces the kind of citizen who looks at luxury transportation and sees fireworks. Continue reading Baltimore County Man Blows Up His Own Cadillac Limo for Birthday, Maryland Responds by Criminalizing Patriotism

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, Congress & Power, Crypto, democrats, Dysfunctional Technology, Government, Maryland, Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Chris Van Hollen Demands Clear Crypto Rules, Blocks Bill Called the CLARITY Act

Sen. Chris Van Hollen criticized the crypto industry for operating without clear regulations while simultaneously blocking the CLARITY Act, which aimed to establish such rules. This paradox highlights a common governmental pattern: decrying regulatory gaps yet impeding progress, leaving crypto firms in confusion over future regulations. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen Demands Clear Crypto Rules, Blocks Bill Called the CLARITY Act

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Advocacy, Artificial Stupidity, Arts & Entertainment, censorship, Culture & Absurdity, Dysfunctional Technology, Gangs & Cults, Internet Meltdowns, journalism, Maryland, Media Critique, Online Abuse, Protests, social media

Baltimore Cartoonists Rage Against AI Slop, Canton Cat Reminds Them He Literally Eats Out of Dumpsters

Professional political cartoonists are upset about AI-generated cartoons in the Baltimore Sun, calling them lazy and threatening to their craft. Comic relief comes from the Canton Cat, a stray who humorously critiques the medium’s limitations while acknowledging the traditional art form’s value. Ultimately, he concludes that he’s just a cat with paws. Continue reading Baltimore Cartoonists Rage Against AI Slop, Canton Cat Reminds Them He Literally Eats Out of Dumpsters

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Arts & Entertainment, Culture & Absurdity, democrats, Dysfunctional Technology, Games, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Evan Glass Asks Fortune Teller What His Political Future Holds, Machine Immediately Requests Another $20

Montgomery County Councilmember Evan Glass consulted a fortune-telling machine named Zoltar for political advice, humorously outsourcing his strategy. The machine’s responses ranged from cryptic predictions about future announcements to warnings about fiscal restraint. Political insiders found the consultation entertaining and refreshingly honest compared to traditional polling methods. Continue reading Evan Glass Asks Fortune Teller What His Political Future Holds, Machine Immediately Requests Another $20

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Community Guidelines, Crime Beat, Extremist Behaviors, Food & Health, Health & Medical, Higher Times, Law Enforcement, Maryland, maryland man, no loitering, Psychos & Crazies, public safety, Urban Absurdity, Yes, This Is Real

Hyattsville Man Chugs Entire Bottle of Hot Sauce, Becomes Prince George’s County’s Most Stable Friday Afternoon

Police responded to a disorderly man at a Hyattsville CVS. He then allegedly chugged an entire bottle of hot sauce, turning a routine call into a gastrointestinal emergency with witnesses. Continue reading Hyattsville Man Chugs Entire Bottle of Hot Sauce, Becomes Prince George’s County’s Most Stable Friday Afternoon

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Democrazy, economy, Elections, Maryland, Politics, Rural Trash, State & Local

D9 Incumbents Unveil Bold New Campaign Strategy: Abandon Tent, Hope Nobody Notices

Maryland District 9 incumbents Chao Wu and Natalie Ziegler unveiled a poorly maintained campaign tent, sparking criticism from rival Fitzgerald Mofor. The tent’s disarray metaphorically reflects local governance failures, including neglected infrastructure and rising taxes. Mofor proposes improvements while the incumbents blamed maintenance issues, suggesting a new fee for repairs. Continue reading D9 Incumbents Unveil Bold New Campaign Strategy: Abandon Tent, Hope Nobody Notices

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, crime, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Maryland lawmakers Jamie Raskin and Chris Van Hollen reacted dramatically after a contractor admitted to flaws in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool renovation. Raskin connected the mishap to broader political conspiracies, assembling investigative teams, while Van Hollen stressed accountability. Meanwhile, a contractor revealed the issue was simply a materials error, but everyone ignored him. Continue reading Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Activism, Congress, Congress & Power, democrats, Democrazy, Extremist Behaviors, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, immigration, Law & Order, Maryland, Politics, public safety, social media, State & Local, Washington absurdity

Blueberry Fruit Roll-Up Rolls Down to the Canal to Film TikTok About Calling Congress Before ICE Calls You

April McClain Delaney rolls up to the canal in electric blue to film a “Know Your Rights” video, while the Canton Cat wonders whether Congress plans to fix immigration law before the next TikTok. Continue reading Blueberry Fruit Roll-Up Rolls Down to the Canal to Film TikTok About Calling Congress Before ICE Calls You

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, Campaigns, Democrazy, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local, voter outreach

Fitzgerald Mofor, Built Like a God, Descends Upon God’s Country Seeking Mortal Votes

Fitzgerald Mofor, a candidate for District 9A, campaigned at the Damascus Fair, humorously branding the area as “God’s Country.” His platform focuses on lowering costs, enhancing public safety, improving infrastructure, supporting schools, and fostering small businesses. Mofor’s physical presence and rural appeal may resonate with local voters. Continue reading Fitzgerald Mofor, Built Like a God, Descends Upon God’s Country Seeking Mortal Votes

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment