OCEAN CITY, Md. — Montgomery County Councilmember Evan Glass was spotted consulting Zoltar this week and asking followers what they would wish for, apparently outsourcing Maryland political strategy to a plywood fortune-telling machine.

The Canton Cat reviewed the evidence.

“Finally. A consultant with lower overhead than Annapolis.”

Sources say Glass inserted the money, stared deeply into Zoltar’s glowing crystal ball, and asked the question haunting every Montgomery County politician:

“What office do I run for next?”

The machine reportedly whirred for several seconds before dispensing a card that read:

“YOUR FUTURE IS UNCLEAR. PLEASE INSERT ANOTHER $20.”

Glass allegedly tried again.

This time:

“YOU WILL SOON ANNOUNCE A TASK FORCE.”

A third card reportedly said:

“BEWARE OF PEOPLE WHO SAY ‘FISCAL RESTRAINT.’”

At that point, the Canton Cat became convinced Zoltar had been briefed by the Maryland Democratic Party.

Political insiders praised the consultation as refreshing because, unlike most polling firms, Zoltar was at least honest about charging money to tell politicians what they wanted to hear.

The machine was then asked whether Montgomery County taxes would ever go down.

It shut itself off.

Asked whether Annapolis would stop inventing fees, Zoltar burst into flames.

At press time, Glass was still standing at the machine while the Canton Cat slipped underneath it, looking for dropped quarters and a prediction involving free tuna.