Reporting From Behind the Dumpster.

The Canton Cat is a Baltimore-based satire publication covering politics, government, culture, and the daily absurdities Maryland keeps leaving unattended near the curb.

Our motto is simple:

Reporting From Behind the Dumpster.

We take real stories, public statements, political drama, government decisions, neighborhood nonsense, and the occasional civic hairball, then drag them through the alley and return them as satire.

The Canton Cat is not a traditional news outlet. It is parody and commentary. Headlines may be exaggerated, invented, ridiculous, or suspiciously believable because Maryland occasionally saves us the trouble.

The site is edited and published under the persona Martin O’Meowey, a stray cat with questionable credentials, strong opinions, and absolutely no intention of attending another Annapolis press conference unless somebody brings tuna.

While the jokes are fictional, they are often inspired by real events, public figures, news reports, government records, press releases, elections, and whatever Baltimore is doing this week.

We aim upward, sideways, and occasionally at squirrels.

No political party, elected official, bureaucrat, activist, developer, lobbyist, journalist, neighborhood association, or improperly secured trash can is guaranteed immunity.

What We Publish

The Canton Cat publishes satirical headlines, parody articles, political cartoons, fake breaking-news alerts, mock polls, fake prediction markets, commentary, and other forms of irresponsible feline journalism.

Some pieces may closely resemble real news formatting. That is part of the joke.

Is This Real News?

No.

Seriously.

Put down the pitchfork.

The Canton Cat is satire.

If a headline says the Maryland General Assembly has imposed a tax on sunlight, Wes Moore has appointed a raccoon to the Cabinet, or Baltimore has converted another pothole into affordable housing, you should probably not cite us in your dissertation.

Then again, maybe check first.

Maryland is unpredictable.

Who Is Martin O’Meowey?

Martin O’Meowey is the editor, mascot, correspondent, columnist, and unpaid overnight security guard of The Canton Cat.

He is the former governor of Maryland’s back alleys, a lifelong supporter of open dumpsters, and a fierce opponent of vacuum cleaners.

His journalistic philosophy is straightforward:

If politicians are going to act ridiculous, somebody should at least write the headline they deserve.

Contact

Tips, satire ideas, corrections, complaints, cease-and-desist letters, and unopened cans of tuna may be directed to:

The Canton Cat
Reporting From Behind the Dumpster.

Just remember: complaints are reviewed in the order they are knocked off the desk.