NEW YORK — In what international observers are calling the most aggressive escalation yet, a viral post claims Yoko Ono plans to walk nude through Times Square to protest war with Iran.

The Canton Cat has one question:

Who exactly is this supposed to punish?

If the claim is real, Iran may have just discovered America’s ultimate deterrent.

Not aircraft carriers.

Not sanctions.

Not bunker busters.

Yoko Ono, 93, approaching Broadway with absolutely nothing left to lose.

Diplomats reportedly began frantically reopening back channels the moment somebody explained the concept.

“We surrender. We haven’t even done anything yet. Just please put the scarf back on.”

Times Square businesses are allegedly preparing emergency plywood, blackout curtains, and several thousand pairs of complimentary sunglasses.

The Naked Cowboy has reportedly filed for workers’ compensation, citing “hostile workplace conditions.”

Meanwhile, antiwar activists praised Ono’s courage, while everyone else quietly wondered whether peace achieved through mutually assured nudity still counts as diplomacy.

The Canton Cat, who has witnessed rats mating behind a dumpster at 3 a.m., was unimpressed.

“I’ve seen things. I didn’t need to see this.”

Pentagon officials declined to comment on whether the proposed protest technically qualifies as psychological warfare.

At press time, Iran had reportedly offered immediate negotiations, a prisoner exchange, three barrels of oil, and a handwritten apology to John Lennon.

Anything to keep the bathrobe on.