Category: absurd politics

absurd politics, Booze, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Montgomery County Opens Another Government Liquor Store Because Apparently Even Getting Drunk Needs Bureaucracy

Montgomery County is opening a new government liquor store in Flower Hill on September 10, featuring tastings and special bourbon selections. Critics highlight the extensive county involvement in alcohol sales and regulation, comparing it to an overly bureaucratic system, while residents face challenges in other essential services. Continue reading Montgomery County Opens Another Government Liquor Store Because Apparently Even Getting Drunk Needs Bureaucracy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, family court, Judicial, Maryland, Politics

Maryland Celebrates Child Support Awareness Month, Reminds Parents Actual Children Are a Separate Department

Gov. Wes Moore declared August Child Support Awareness Month in Maryland, highlighting the state’s efficiency in collecting payments from non-compliant parents. However, critics point out that while financial support is automated, enforcing parenting time remains cumbersome, requiring lengthy legal processes. This raises questions about the balance of child support versus parental access. Continue reading Maryland Celebrates Child Support Awareness Month, Reminds Parents Actual Children Are a Separate Department

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local, voter outreach

Andy Ellis Demands Four-Way Governor Debate, Accidentally Invents Maryland Political Battle Royale

Maryland gubernatorial candidate Andy Ellis criticized Dan Cox for avoiding debates with all four candidates, claiming it reveals fears of a chaotic political environment. Ellis accused Cox and Wes Moore of maintaining the flawed two-party system and suggested a dramatic new debate format. Maryland voters amusingly contemplated leaving the state amid the debate chaos. Continue reading Andy Ellis Demands Four-Way Governor Debate, Accidentally Invents Maryland Political Battle Royale

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, Schools & Education & Schools, State & Local

Montgomery County Announces Bold New Education Plan: Simply Hope September Gets Colder

Montgomery County Public Schools warned that old HVAC systems may struggle during the heat, raising concerns for classrooms. County Executive candidate Esther Wells criticized Councilmember Will Jawando for insufficiently addressing these issues, suggesting reallocating funds. Despite billions in school spending, officials emphasize that the heat warning won’t lead to closures. Continue reading Montgomery County Announces Bold New Education Plan: Simply Hope September Gets Colder

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Arts & Entertainment, democrats, Entertainment, Maryland, Politics

Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss It

Wes Moore posted another “ICYMI” clip from a festival stage, so naturally Maryland residents were reminded that the governor remains undefeated in finding microphones, cameras, and inspirational nouns. Continue reading Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss It

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Elections, Florida, Florida, Maryland, Politics

Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight

Wes Moore found time to referee a Florida Twitter fight involving Laura Loomer and Angie Nixon. Maryland residents, meanwhile, are still holding for utility relief, better roads, lower costs and occasional gubernatorial attention. Continue reading Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Beer, California, Congress & Power, constitutional rights, Cultural Meltdowns, Maryland, Politics, voter outreach

Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin Allegedly Discover Socialism’s Final Boss: Stealing the Poor Man’s Beer

Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin head to California to teach socialists how redistribution works and, in The Canton Cat’s completely fictional account, accidentally steal 34,000 cans of the working man’s beer. The proletariat is not amused. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin Allegedly Discover Socialism’s Final Boss: Stealing the Poor Man’s Beer

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Michigan, Politics

Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Abdul El-Sayed wanted a heartfelt campaign moment. The internet saw a nervous supporter reading notes while politicians hovered nearby and immediately started making hostage-video jokes. Somewhere, a consultant is asking for one more take. Continue reading Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Celebrity, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Internet Meltdowns, Politics

Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sets Out to Capture Laura Loomer Before MAGA Eats Itself Alive

Marjorie Taylor Greene has apparently become MAGA’s Dog the Bounty Hunter, chasing Laura Loomer through another Republican civil war while the actual Democrat quietly enjoys the free advertising. Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sets Out to Capture Laura Loomer Before MAGA Eats Itself Alive

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment