LAS VEGAS — Maryland taxpayers wondering where their money went may finally have an answer:

Roulette table 14.

Gov. Wes Moore reportedly arrived in Las Vegas to campaign for Democratic candidates and somehow left several hours later having wagered away the entire State of Maryland.

Including the chairs.

According to absolutely nobody authorized to manage public finances, the fiscal catastrophe began when Moore consumed one pink martini and one pot brownie before announcing:

“MARYLAND ALWAYS DREAMS BIG.”

He then allegedly pushed a stack of chips representing the state treasury onto black.

Red.

Maryland taxpayers lost.

Things deteriorated quickly.

By midnight, Moore had reportedly gambled away transportation money, education money, several highway projects, three MARC trains and whatever loose change was hiding beneath the cushions at Government House.

Then somebody mentioned the $250 million in utility-tax refunds Comptroller Brooke Lierman says utilities should return to Maryland ratepayers.

Moore allegedly froze.

“There’s another $250 million?”

Casino security reportedly described what happened next as “the fastest gubernatorial sprint since somebody whispered ‘free federal money.’”

Within minutes, the ratepayer refund was allegedly converted into chips.

Lierman arrived moments later carrying paperwork and asking where Marylanders’ money had gone.

A blackjack dealer quietly pointed toward the governor.

Moore was reportedly sitting beneath a neon flamingo wearing sunglasses, holding a strawberry daiquiri and repeatedly telling the roulette wheel:

“This next spin is going to grow the economy.”

It did not.

By 2 a.m., Maryland reportedly owned:

• one casino buffet voucher
• 37 cents
• half a pot brownie
• and a commemorative Caesars Palace keychain

State officials are now examining several possible revenue options, including another tax increase, selling Annapolis on Facebook Marketplace, and charging Virginia commuters $14 every time they look at Maryland.

Meanwhile, taxpayers hoping to receive their share of the $250 million were advised to check their utility bills.

Or roulette table 14.

I checked behind the dumpster.

Nothing.

Typical government accounting.

Moore reportedly woke up the next morning hungover, dressed like a flamingo girl from the Vegas strip, blinking at the ceiling and asking hotel staff whether Maryland had always kept $250 million in the minibar.