Baltimore Asked for an Inner Harbor Comeback. The City Handed Everyone a Kayak.

Baltimore residents asked for a revitalized Inner Harbor. The city delivered kayaks. The Canton Cat investigates whether Phase Two includes protected kayak lanes, floating bollards and boaters losing their minds. Continue reading Baltimore Asked for an Inner Harbor Comeback. The City Handed Everyone a Kayak.

State Officials Shocked to Discover Electricity Was Doing Something

Maryland Democratic leaders are facing backlash over soaring BGE bills after closing power plants without replacements. Residents mistakenly thought high charges were errors, while officials offered vague explanations for new fees. Amid public outrage, a task force will study the situation, and a new program promises temporary credits funded by future fees. Continue reading State Officials Shocked to Discover Electricity Was Doing Something

The Hamburglar Takes Richmond: Abigail Spanberger Sworn In, Hamburgs Immediately Missing

This week in Richmond, newly sworn-in Governor Abigail Spanberger sparked chaos as hamburgers mysteriously vanished shortly after her inauguration, earning her the nickname “Hamburglar of Hard-Earned Money.” Her controversial “Spanburger Doctrine” implies confiscating edible goods as “nutritional contributions,” leaving residents bewildered and concerned about a future without safe backyard cookouts. Continue reading The Hamburglar Takes Richmond: Abigail Spanberger Sworn In, Hamburgs Immediately Missing

Gavin Newsom Declares California the “Economic Model,” Davos Immediately Checks Wallets

During a speech at Davos, California Gov. Gavin Newsom proclaimed the state as a model for global prosperity despite its high costs and regulations. Critics highlighted California’s severe poverty and affordability issues. Newsom humorously suggested that residents leaving the state were merely “exporting the California experience.” His remarks sparked confusion and skepticism among attendees. Continue reading Gavin Newsom Declares California the “Economic Model,” Davos Immediately Checks Wallets

Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target

Clergy in Minnesota are urging residents to refrain from shopping on Fridays as an act of spiritual resistance against consumerism. A rally on January 23 aims to promote contemplation over retail participation for one day. Critics note the challenge due to practical needs, while the event seeks to highlight values beyond consumption. Continue reading Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target