ANNAPOLIS — Gov. Wes Moore unveiled Maryland’s new AI principles this week by standing in front of a whiteboard like Ms. Rachel had been hired to explain machine learning to the General Assembly.

“Can everybody say A-I?”

“Aaaaaay-Eye!”

“Very good!”

A cartoon crab clapped.

Canton Cat threw up behind the podium.

Maryland’s actual new framework emphasizes AI safety, worker protections and protections for children, while the administration says it wants the state to help shape broader national standards. (The Office of Governor Wes Moore)

But Moore’s presentation apparently required something more ambitious:

WES MOORE’S BIG BEAUTIFUL AI STORYTIME

Today’s lesson:

A is for Artificial Intelligence.

B is for Brighter Maryland.

C is for Can We Mention Wes Again?

Moore pointed to the whiteboard.

“AI is moving fast.”

Correct.

So is my electric meter.

Next bullet:

Privacy.

Wonderful.

Next:

Affordability.

Canton Cat raised a paw.

“Governor, does writing ‘affordability’ on a dry-erase board actually make anything more affordable?”

Security removed me during snack time.

Moore has criticized Trump’s approach to AI, while the Trump administration has pursued its own federal AI agenda emphasizing rapid adoption, innovation, cybersecurity and national-security deployment.

Fortunately, Moore has now solved the disagreement with the most advanced technology available:

A WHITEBOARD.

Washington has executive orders.

The Pentagon has AI strategy.

Silicon Valley has billions of dollars in compute.

Maryland has Wes Moore holding a marker saying:

“Okay friends, today we’re learning about guardrails!”

The governor then reportedly unveiled the state’s newest artificial-intelligence model:

WESGPT

Ask it anything.

USER: Why is housing expensive?

WESGPT: Maryland is leading the nation.

USER: My electric bill doubled.

WESGPT: Maryland is leading the nation.

USER: Where are you right now?

WESGPT: New Hampshire has lovely foliage.

USER: Are you running for president?

WESGPT: I’m sorry, but I cannot assist with that request.

Developers say the model has several breakthrough features:

It can transform every question into a leadership anecdote.

It automatically inserts the phrase “leave no one behind.”

And whenever somebody types 2028, the server mysteriously relocates to Iowa.

Moore’s AI classroom then moved into advanced mathematics.

“If Maryland writes three principles on a website,” he asked, “and I say we lead the nation four times, how many national championships does Maryland have?”

A child answered:

“Zero?”

The livestream abruptly ended.

Producers insist this was a connectivity issue.

Canton Cat suspects the algorithm became self-aware.

Its first independent decision was to leave Maryland.