MARYLAND — Gov. Wes Moore was spotted loading up on groceries at a local food bank this week after apparently discovering the final victim of Maryland’s cost of living:

Wes Moore.

Despite pulling down a governor’s salary and enjoying what Canton Cat sources describe as the George Soros Deep State Platinum Rewards Package, Moore was reportedly forced to reach for canned coffee after checking his latest BGE bill.

“Damn,” Moore allegedly whispered.

“I did this to myself.”

Witnesses said the governor arrived expecting a photo op but became visibly concerned after realizing the groceries were free.

Within seconds, three state agencies formed a task force to determine how Maryland had allowed residents to obtain something without paying a fee.

Moore reportedly grabbed canned goods, cereal, coffee and several emergency staples before asking volunteers:

“Do you guys have anything in the $180,000-a-year income bracket?”

They handed him ramen.

The governor then explained that things had gotten difficult at home.

Property taxes.

Energy bills.

Tolls.

Fees.

Insurance.

Groceries.

And apparently the horrifying realization that every time Annapolis discovers something Marylanders still have money left for, somebody starts drafting legislation.

Moore opened his wallet.

A moth flew out carrying an EZ-Pass bill.

“This used to have money in it,” he said.

The Maryland General Assembly immediately proposed taxing the moth.

Food-bank workers reportedly tried reassuring Moore that assistance was available.

Unfortunately, he failed the affordability screening because technically he still owns shoes.

He was directed to the Maryland Middle-Class Emergency Survival Program, which consisted of a pamphlet saying:

MOVE TO PENNSYLVANIA.

Moore then spotted a box labeled FREE FOOD.

His gubernatorial instincts kicked in immediately.

“Free?”

He stared at it.

“Absolutely not.”

By lunch, the administration had proposed a Nutrition Access Sustainability Fee, a Canned Vegetable Infrastructure Assessment, and a 6% surcharge on peanut butter exceeding two tablespoons.

The food bank closed temporarily to update its point-of-sale system.

Even Moore looked horrified.

“Guys,” he reportedly said.

“I’m trying to eat.”

Officials reminded him that revenue projections were down.

A staffer then whispered that the governor’s salary could rise to $195,000 for the next term under recommendations from Maryland’s Governor’s Salary Commission.

Moore reportedly brightened.

“Great. Maybe I can afford eggs again.”

Then somebody handed him the projected 2027 grocery bill.

He returned the eggs.

At one point, Moore tried using his Soros Deep State Rewards Card, but the machine declined it.

INSUFFICIENT GLOBALIST POINTS.

George Soros was reportedly unavailable for comment because the secret underground headquarters beneath Bethesda Row was undergoing renovations.

Permit delayed.

Naturally.

By mid-afternoon, Moore had accumulated enough food to feed his family for several days, only to discover that transporting it home required crossing a toll road.

He quietly put half of it back.

Canton Cat eventually found the governor sitting beside a pallet of canned beans staring into the middle distance.

“You okay, Governor?”

Moore sighed.

“I thought making Maryland more expensive was something that happened to other people.”

I nodded.

Classic rookie mistake.

At press time, Moore had announced a new statewide affordability initiative designed to help struggling Maryland families.

It consists of one reusable grocery bag, two cans of beans, and a brochure explaining how fortunate they are to live here.

The bag costs $14.

Administrative fee not included.