By Martin O’Meowey | The Canton Cat
WASHINGTON — The Affordable Care Act marked another historic milestone this week after medical professionals reportedly began looking at health insurance premiums and saying:
“You know what? I’ll just take my chances.”
A Washington Post/KFF Health News report found some health-care workers are dropping or scaling back coverage because of rising costs. One Idaho physician and his pharmacist wife said a comparable family plan approached $1,600 a month, leading them to go uninsured and pay expenses from savings instead.
Sixteen years after Americans were promised a better, more affordable insurance market, the nation has apparently achieved the final stage of reform:
Doctors treating themselves because insurance costs too much.
Beautiful.
Absolutely seamless.
No notes.
Former President Barack Obama was unavailable for comment, presumably because the Affordable Care Act is currently undergoing its annual procedure known as:
“Explaining why affordable doesn’t necessarily mean affordable.”
The Canton Cat reviewed the modern American health-care experience:
- Pay insurance premium.
- Pay deductible.
- Pay copay.
- Discover something isn’t covered.
- Receive mysterious bill six weeks later.
- Call insurer.
- Age visibly.
- Die of natural causes while listening to hold music.
Even the terminology remains reassuring.
It’s not an expensive plan.
It’s a Silver Preferred Enhanced Choice Value Network Plus Opportunity Wellness Solution™.
That’ll be $1,487 a month.
Dental sold separately.
Vision sold separately.
Actual health sold pending prior authorization.
The truly impressive part is that everyone can claim victory.
Democrats can say the ACA expanded coverage and subsidies.
Republicans can say government intervention failed to control costs.
Insurance companies can say absolutely nothing because your call is very important to them and the estimated wait time is 97 minutes.
For eligible HealthCare.gov enrollees, federal tax credits still substantially reduce premiums, and CMS projected an average $50 monthly premium for the lowest-cost plan after credits in 2026. But unsubsidized sticker prices can be far higher, and affordability varies sharply by income, age, location and family size.
Which is precisely why Washington remains confident the system is working.
The spreadsheet says so.
Meanwhile, a doctor somewhere is staring at a $1,600 premium and saying:
“Maybe I can just diagnose myself in the bathroom mirror.”
At press time, Congress announced it would address soaring health-care costs immediately after finishing its ongoing bipartisan investigation into why Americans seem so angry all the time.
The hearing is expected to cost $14 million.
Insurance will not cover it.
Reporting From Behind the Dumpster.
The Canton Cat 