Wes Moore found time to referee a Florida Twitter fight involving Laura Loomer and Angie Nixon. Maryland residents, meanwhile, are still holding for utility relief, better roads, lower costs and occasional gubernatorial attention. Continue reading Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight
Abdul El-Sayed wanted a heartfelt campaign moment. The internet saw a nervous supporter reading notes while politicians hovered nearby and immediately started making hostage-video jokes. Somewhere, a consultant is asking for one more take. Continue reading Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice
The DNC interviewed nearly 10,000 people who voted in 2020 but stayed home in 2024. Canton Cat interviewed 37 humans, four raccoons and one confused delivery driver behind a Wawa—and somehow got to “everything costs too much” much faster. Continue reading DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems
Dan Cox says Maryland’s police accountability boards resemble Soviet-style citizen councils. The Canton Cat checks the meeting agenda for Lenin, revolution and refreshments. Continue reading Dan Cox Discovers Montgomery County Has Soviets, Immediately Checks Under the Bed for Lenin
While President Trump prepares to deliver his 2026 State of the Union address from the House floor, a coalition of Democrats is staging their own rival spectacle across town — a swamp-themed “rebuttal” critics are calling more performance art than policy. As one side fills the Capitol chamber, the other fills wine glasses, proving once again that in Washington, governance now competes with branding. Continue reading Democrats Ditch Trump’s Triumph for Their Own ‘State of the Swamp’ Circle Jerk: A Treasonous Toddler Tantrum in Tuxedos
In 2026, rumors circulate that Senator Mitch McConnell has been “functionally offline” while his staff manipulates the legislative process to block the SAVE Act. Various potential puppet masters, including Senate leaders and the parliamentarian, influence actions silently, revealing a system designed to stall bills, suggesting the Senate operates independently of McConnell. Continue reading Capitol Mystery: Is Mitch McConnell Being Operated by Remote Control?
A recent poll reveals that many registered Democrats secretly support Donald Trump but fear social repercussions from friends and community. This “Closet MAGAcrat” phenomenon highlights a culture of political concealment linked to social survival, exacerbated by pressures from peers and the psychological influence of figures like Hillary Clinton. Continue reading BREAKING: New Study Finds 12 Million “Closet Trump Democrats” Living Double Lives, Hiding MAGA Hats in Recyclable Tote Bags
Democrats recently launched the People’s State of the Onion, an alternative to the State of the Union that emphasizes emotional expressions over factual reporting. Sponsored by various activist groups, it aims to critique the current presidential administration while hosting by influential figures. This approach raises questions about political norms and the acceptance of election results. Continue reading The People’s State of the Onion
Stephen A. Smith is considering a 2028 presidential run, showcasing his trademark debate style. He criticizes both major parties, suggesting bold, unorthodox policies, like replacing the State of the Union with a monologue and demanding accountability from Congress. His outsider status and intense delivery could revolutionize political debates, captivating audiences nationwide. Continue reading Stephen A. Smith Announces 2028 Presidential Run, Vows to “Fix This Nation the Same Way I Fixed the Knicks”
Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff have requested a legislative exemption from the SAVE Act, fearing it may set a precedent requiring proof of Congress members’ presence to validate votes. They advocate for flexible participation methods while expressing concerns about increased voter verification impacting democratic access. Their proposed act seeks to redefine attendance. Continue reading Swalwell, Schiff Demand Exemption From SAVE Act After Realizing It May Require Them to Show Up to Vote
The Canton Cat 