Category: Congress

absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Culture & Absurdity, Democrazy, Ethics for 100, Government, Government Dysfunction, Health & Medical, New York, Politics, public safety, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

MTA Worker Finds Mitch McConnell in Subway Closet, Senate Immediately Requests His Return to Washington

An MTA worker discovered Senator Mitch McConnell inside a utility closet in a Manhattan subway, prompting immediate action from Senate leadership to return him to the Capitol. Initially believed to have survived on minimal resources, McConnell was prepped for committee votes and quickly reintegrated, with staff downplaying the situation’s peculiarity. Continue reading MTA Worker Finds Mitch McConnell in Subway Closet, Senate Immediately Requests His Return to Washington

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, America, Fuck Yeah!, Animals, Congress, Congress & Power, Government, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Senate Celebrates National Decline With Capitol Hill Dog Birthday Party While Voter ID Sits in the Yard

The U.S. Senate hosted a lavish birthday party for a dog, highlighting Congress’s tendency to prioritize entertainment over crucial issues like voter ID. Attendees celebrated the pet with cake and photos, while important legislative matters were ignored. This event raised questions about accountability and priorities in Washington, evident as the public grows frustrated. Continue reading Senate Celebrates National Decline With Capitol Hill Dog Birthday Party While Voter ID Sits in the Yard

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absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Crazy Cat Lady, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, federal agencies, Gangs & Cults, Government, Hobbies & Things, People & Personalities, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, Politics, Psychos & Crazies, State vs. Federal Politics, Transportation, Travel & Leisure, Washington absurdity

FAA Announces New “No Yiffing Below 10,000 Feet” Rule After Tuberville Warns Furries Have Infiltrated Aviation

The FAA has heightened the aviation threat level in response to concerns about furries infiltrating airline operations. New protocols include heightened passenger screening and updated safety demonstrations. Congress plans hearings on this unusual issue, with lawmakers struggling to comprehend the furry phenomenon, while the Pentagon adjusts its radar to distinguish between threats and fanciful creatures. Continue reading FAA Announces New “No Yiffing Below 10,000 Feet” Rule After Tuberville Warns Furries Have Infiltrated Aviation

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, America, Fuck Yeah!, Campaigns, Colorado, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Culture & Absurdity, Democrazy, Elections, End of Days, Ethics for 100, Government, Guns & Ammo, Hobbies & Things, Internet Meltdowns, journalism, Media Critique, Online Abuse, Patriotism, Politics, Privacy & Privates, Sex Sells, social media, State vs. Federal Politics, voter outreach, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Lauren Boebert Goes Full Schwarzenegger, Promises ‘Hell to Pay’ for Anyone Spreading Lies About Her Love Life

Lauren Boebert says the ethics allegations about her love life are false. The Canton Cat imagines her response escalating into a full Schwarzenegger sequel complete with aviators, gun safes, terrified journalists and absolutely no new hires. Continue reading Lauren Boebert Goes Full Schwarzenegger, Promises ‘Hell to Pay’ for Anyone Spreading Lies About Her Love Life

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Booze, Congress, Congress & Power, Dating & Relationships, Donald Trump, Government, Maryland, maryland man, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Chris Van Hollen Crashes Another Wedding, Grabs Microphone, Announces Democracy Is in Danger Until Bartender Cuts Him Off

At a Maryland wedding, Senator Chris Van Hollen unexpectedly seized a microphone to deliver a lengthy political speech on various issues, disrupting the celebration. Despite guests’ attempts to regain control, including chants and a thrown dinner roll, Van Hollen continued until security removed him. The wedding resumed with humor amidst the chaos. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen Crashes Another Wedding, Grabs Microphone, Announces Democracy Is in Danger Until Bartender Cuts Him Off

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Congress, Congress & Power, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Government, Maryland, maryland man, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Jamie Raskin Alarmed to Discover Maryland’s 8th District Contains People Who Aren’t Jamie Raskin

Rep. Jamie Raskin expressed deep concerns about democracy after realizing many residents in Maryland’s 8th District do not recognize him. Following criticisms from Republican Cheryl Riley, he convened a symposium and faced questions from constituents. Raskin, known for his constitutional commentary, remains active despite local dissatisfaction with his focus. Continue reading Jamie Raskin Alarmed to Discover Maryland’s 8th District Contains People Who Aren’t Jamie Raskin

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, censorship, Colorado, Community Guidelines, Congress, Congress & Power, Dating & Relationships, Democrazy, Ethics for 100, Government, Government Dysfunction, LGBTABC123+-=, Lifestyles, Politics, Privacy & Privates, Sex Sells, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Yes, This Is Real

Lauren Boebert Ethics Complaint Allegedly Requires HR to Replace Org Chart With Relationship Flowchart

Rep. Lauren Boebert faces a House ethics complaint over alleged sexual relationships with three staffers and misuse of funds, including bonuses and a six-figure payment to a former aide. Though the allegations remain unproven, they raise concerns about her office culture, prompting updates to congressional HR policies and handbooks. Continue reading Lauren Boebert Ethics Complaint Allegedly Requires HR to Replace Org Chart With Relationship Flowchart

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Congress, Congress & Power, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Government, Government Dysfunction, History, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Wizardry & Witchcraft

Chris Van Hollen Unveils Bold Democratic Strategy for 2026: Dig Up FDR, Put John Lewis on a Tote Bag, Hope Nobody Asks What Year It Is

Senator Chris Van Hollen emphasized that Democrats should embody the legacies of FDR and John Lewis, leading to a humorous excavation at party headquarters. Amidst discovered relics, the party’s strategy became anachronistic, aiming to attract young voters with outdated ideals, while alienating them further by ignoring current concerns. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen Unveils Bold Democratic Strategy for 2026: Dig Up FDR, Put John Lewis on a Tote Bag, Hope Nobody Asks What Year It Is

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Communism, Socialism, What's the difference?, Congress, Culture & Absurdity, DEI or IED, Democrazy, Elections, Extremist Behaviors, Global News, Government, Government Dysfunction, Mexico, New York, Politics, Psychos & Crazies, State vs. Federal Politics

Claire Valdez Campaign Accidentally Orders 40-Foot Mexican Flag for U.S. Congressional Office, Intern Quietly Adds Tiny American One From CVS

Democratic congressional candidate Claire Valdez celebrated Mexican Independence Day while highlighting international solidarity. However, her remarks caused confusion about her campaign’s focus, illustrating a missed connection between her socialist ideals and American politics. Campaign staff struggled to communicate a clear U.S. identity amid her enthusiastic declarations of support for Mexico. Continue reading Claire Valdez Campaign Accidentally Orders 40-Foot Mexican Flag for U.S. Congressional Office, Intern Quietly Adds Tiny American One From CVS

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Congress, Congress & Power, Cultural Meltdowns, DEI or IED, Elections, Gerry Manders, Government, Government Dysfunction, Politics, Race Baiters, State vs. Federal Politics, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity

Washington Discovers “Black Representation” Has 17 Different Definitions Depending on Who’s Holding the Map

Activists are concerned that the Supreme Court’s Callais decision may reduce Black representation in Congress, prompting debates over what constitutes “Black representation.” The ruling limits race in districting, risking the loss of majority-Black districts. Confusion arises over party affiliation and representation nuances, complicating discussions on voting rights and districting. Continue reading Washington Discovers “Black Representation” Has 17 Different Definitions Depending on Who’s Holding the Map

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment