Category: Conspiracies

absurd politics, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Culture & Absurdity, Donald Trump, Entertainment, Government, Lawfare Warfare, Politics, Sports & Whatever, State vs. Federal Politics, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Maryland Attorney General Sues MLB, Claims Trump Must Have Colluded to Keep Orioles Out of Playoffs

Maryland Attorney General Anthony Brown has filed an emergency lawsuit against Major League Baseball after the Orioles were eliminated from postseason contention. Brown’s complaint suggests external interference, notably implicating Donald Trump. The lawsuit seeks to award the Orioles a Wild Card spot and questions the fairness of MLB standings, citing alleged discriminatory practices. Continue reading Maryland Attorney General Sues MLB, Claims Trump Must Have Colluded to Keep Orioles Out of Playoffs

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Culture & Absurdity, Government, Government Dysfunction, Health & Medical, Maryland, Politics, Science & Culture, State & Local, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Scientists Confirm 1,600 “Baby Teeth” Were Just Wes Moore’s Adult Teeth Still Waiting for Puberty

In Maryland, 1,600 small teeth were discovered, believed to belong to Wes Moore, who is humorously attempting to grow a complete adult set before 60. Researchers highlighted his unconventional timeline, while state officials proposed a $740 million effort to expedite the process. Moore remains optimistic about achieving his goal. Continue reading Scientists Confirm 1,600 “Baby Teeth” Were Just Wes Moore’s Adult Teeth Still Waiting for Puberty

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Culture & Absurdity, Internet Meltdowns, journalism, Media Critique, People & Personalities, Politics, Press & Free Speech, social media

Scarlett Johnson Announces Huge Breaking Story “Tomorrow Morning,” Accidentally Creates Temporal Crisis Across Two Time Zones

Conservative commentator Scarlett Johnson’s ambiguous announcement of a “HUGE breaking story” has caused confusion regarding its timing, prompting the creation of a federal agency, “THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT DAY IS IT.” As readers speculate on when the news will arrive, the situation illustrates the complexities of communication in the digital age. Continue reading Scarlett Johnson Announces Huge Breaking Story “Tomorrow Morning,” Accidentally Creates Temporal Crisis Across Two Time Zones

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Democrazy, Elections, Gangs & Cults, Global News, Government, israel, Maryland, National Security, Politics, Secret Agents & Spies, State & Local, voter outreach

Montgomery County GOP Hits Emergency Eject Button After Candidate Announces Mossad Apparently Runs Rockville

The Montgomery County Republican Party swiftly distanced itself from candidate Harold Maldonado after he claimed Mossad secretly influenced local officials. Following his alarming accusations regarding various community issues, the party removed him from their voter guide and implemented stricter vetting for candidates, leading residents to feel relieved about the situation. Continue reading Montgomery County GOP Hits Emergency Eject Button After Candidate Announces Mossad Apparently Runs Rockville

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, censorship, Communism, Socialism, What's the difference?, Community Guidelines, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Elections, Ethics for 100, fraud, Gender Studies, Health & Medical, journalism, Maryland, Media Critique, Missing Persons, People & Personalities, Politics, Press & Free Speech, social media, State & Local, voter outreach

Jawando Too Delicate for Debate After Heroic Primary Victory Over 11,000 People

Democratic County Executive nominee Will Jawando will not debate Republican Esther Wells, citing past engagements and significant differences in vote counts. His campaign emphasizes that numerous previous forums have provided sufficient candidate comparison, and that Jawando, recovering from a heart attack, intends to focus on future goals rather than a debate perceived as unnecessary. Continue reading Jawando Too Delicate for Debate After Heroic Primary Victory Over 11,000 People

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, America, Fuck Yeah!, Campaigns, Colorado, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Culture & Absurdity, Democrazy, Elections, End of Days, Ethics for 100, Government, Guns & Ammo, Hobbies & Things, Internet Meltdowns, journalism, Media Critique, Online Abuse, Patriotism, Politics, Privacy & Privates, Sex Sells, social media, State vs. Federal Politics, voter outreach, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Lauren Boebert Goes Full Schwarzenegger, Promises ‘Hell to Pay’ for Anyone Spreading Lies About Her Love Life

Lauren Boebert says the ethics allegations about her love life are false. The Canton Cat imagines her response escalating into a full Schwarzenegger sequel complete with aviators, gun safes, terrified journalists and absolutely no new hires. Continue reading Lauren Boebert Goes Full Schwarzenegger, Promises ‘Hell to Pay’ for Anyone Spreading Lies About Her Love Life

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Artificial Stupidity, CatGPT, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Cultural Meltdowns, democrats, Democrazy, End of Days, Extremist Behaviors, Government, Nuclear War, Politics, public safety, Science & Culture, State vs. Federal Politics, Vermont, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Bernie Sanders Announces Latest Apocalypse After Previous Apocalypses Inconveniently Fail to Finish the Job

Senator Bernie Sanders recently highlighted the dangers of artificial intelligence, claiming it may pose greater threats to humanity than nuclear weapons. He has a history of issuing urgent warnings about existential risks. Sanders now advocates for a pause in advanced AI development and a ban on superintelligent systems, continuing his pattern of alarm over potential catastrophes. Continue reading Bernie Sanders Announces Latest Apocalypse After Previous Apocalypses Inconveniently Fail to Finish the Job

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Democrazy, Government, Government Dysfunction, Health & Medical, Kentucky, Missing Persons, Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Mitch McConnell Missing From Senate for Three Months, Capitol Staff Finally Check Behind the Curtains

Sen. Mitch McConnell’s three-month absence from the Senate due to health recovery has sparked concerns about transparency and his fitness to serve. Critics question the practice of receiving salary without attendance, leading to proposed reforms like mandatory wellness checks. Meanwhile, McConnell’s office insists he’s engaged remotely, raising further questions about the Senate’s operational necessity. Continue reading Mitch McConnell Missing From Senate for Three Months, Capitol Staff Finally Check Behind the Curtains

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Conspiracies, democrats, Democrazy, Infrastructure, Maryland, Politics, Transportation, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Wes Moore Issues 47th Press Release This Week, Hoping Nobody Remembers He Still Hasn’t Rebuilt the Damn Bridge

With 55 days until Election Day, Maryland Governor Wes Moore is launching numerous announcements to divert attention from the missing Key Bridge in Baltimore. His office is producing a flurry of press releases celebrating minor government activities as major achievements, while avoiding accountability for the bridge situation. Continue reading Wes Moore Issues 47th Press Release This Week, Hoping Nobody Remembers He Still Hasn’t Rebuilt the Damn Bridge

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Conspiracies, crime, Culture & Absurdity, Drugs, Judicial

Penn State Cocaine Suspects Watch Lindsay Clancy Trial, Immediately Diagnose Themselves With Postpartum Psychosis

In a satirical twist, defendants in a Penn State cocaine case adopted postpartum psychosis as a legal defense despite none having recently given birth. The bizarre strategy arose after a suspect suggested insanity pleas, leading to ludicrous claims. Prosecutors pointed out procedural issues, while defendants requested absurd accommodations, poking fun at courtroom antics. Continue reading Penn State Cocaine Suspects Watch Lindsay Clancy Trial, Immediately Diagnose Themselves With Postpartum Psychosis

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment