MARYLAND — A mysterious discovery of 1,600 tiny teeth sent investigators scrambling this week before researchers announced an unexpected breakthrough:

They’re apparently Wes Moore’s.

According to experts who immediately regretted taking the assignment, the teeth are believed to be part of Moore’s ongoing biological effort to finally grow a complete adult set sometime before his 60th birthday.

“Most people lose their baby teeth in elementary school,” one researcher explained. “Wes appears to be pursuing a more deliberate, equity-centered timeline.”

The teeth were reportedly found packed together, patiently waiting for their number to be called.

Several had tiny backpacks.

One was holding a permission slip.

Another asked whether puberty was running late.

Scientists initially believed they had uncovered an archaeological mystery until one tooth reportedly shouted:

“TELL WES WE’RE TRYING.”

The discovery may also explain Moore’s permanently youthful appearance, which researchers now believe is less “boyish charm” and more “human software update stuck at 43%.”

Maryland officials immediately assembled a task force to determine whether state funding could accelerate the process.

Projected cost:

$740 million.

Completion date:

2048.

Moore reportedly remains optimistic.

“My adult teeth are coming,” he said while posing beside a giant ceremonial toothbrush. “Maryland will lead the nation in molar opportunity.”

Dentists cautioned that nature cannot be rushed.

Maryland lawmakers responded by introducing legislation requiring every tooth to emerge by executive order.

As for me, I’m a stray cat.

I grew all my teeth without a task force, consultant, ribbon cutting or $740 million appropriation.

Skill issue.