ANNAPOLIS — Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Cox unveiled the boldest plank of his campaign Thursday: if elected governor, he will personally perform the legendary Triple Lindy from a dangerously unnecessary diving platform.

Maryland election records confirmed that Cox is an active Republican candidate for governor. Clarification if you haven’t seen.

Everything after that gets wet.

“Marylanders are tired of politicians who won’t take the plunge,” Cox announced while wearing bright red swim trunks, a tank top and the confidence of a man who has absolutely not consulted an orthopedic surgeon.

The Triple Lindy, for those unfamiliar with elite aquatic governance, requires jumping from multiple diving boards in a sequence historically attempted only by Rodney Dangerfield, lunatics and men trying to impress people at a community pool.

Cox says his version will be performed at the Maryland State House reflecting pool, despite aides repeatedly explaining that there is no suitable diving board there.

“Build one,” Cox reportedly said.

Campaign officials described the stunt as a symbolic rejection of Annapolis politics.

First board: taxes.

Second board: bureaucracy.

Third board: whatever Wes Moore is announcing at a podium that week.

Then Cox launches himself backward through the air while yelling, “PROPERTY TAX RELIEF!”

The campaign’s biggest disagreement now involves the landing.

Advisers want water.

Cox reportedly prefers landing directly on a stack of executive orders.

I asked whether the stunt was safe.

Nobody answered.

One staffer just handed me a waiver and moved my dumpster outside the splash zone.

If Cox wins, the Triple Lindy would reportedly occur shortly after inauguration, assuming the State Police can locate enough mattresses, the General Assembly doesn’t regulate diving boards first, and Maryland taxpayers aren’t charged $14 million for a feasibility study.

Frankly, I’ve covered Annapolis.

This would not even crack the top ten strangest things I’ve seen.

At least somebody would finally dive into the job instead of holding a press conference next to it.

— The Canton Cat 🐈