DAMASCUS, Md. — Maryland District 9 incumbents Chao Wu and Natalie Ziegler reportedly unveiled the physical embodiment of their governing philosophy this weekend: a campaign tent that looks like it was abandoned halfway through a foreclosure.

The booth featured collapsing banners, signs leaning at medically concerning angles, a tablecloth attempting escape, and approximately the same level of maintenance residents say they’ve come to expect from Annapolis.

Fitzgerald Mofor immediately seized on the scene.

“This encapsulates how Damascus has been represented,” Mofor wrote, pointing to neglected roads, maintenance backlogs, tax and fee hikes, and utility bills apparently high enough to require their own payment plan.

The Canton Cat inspected the photographic evidence and confirmed the situation was dire.

“I’ve slept behind Royal Farms dumpsters with stronger infrastructure,” the Cat reported.

Political analysts initially assumed the booth had been hit by severe weather, vandals, or perhaps a small but determined herd of goats.

Nope.

It was apparently just there like that.

One campaign sign had achieved a roughly 37-degree angle, which experts described as “still more structurally sound than Maryland’s transportation budget.”

Another banner lay crumpled beneath the table like it had recently learned what residents pay in property taxes.

Supporters of the incumbents insisted the booth was merely suffering from “deferred tent maintenance,” and announced that repairs would begin shortly after lawmakers approve a new $14.95 Temporary Outdoor Political Infrastructure Restoration Fee.

The fee will, naturally, increase annually.

By 2030, residents will be charged separately for tent poles.

Mofor and running mate Rhoda Dahn, meanwhile, are campaigning on the radical proposition that Damascus should receive roads, infrastructure, affordable utilities, and perhaps elected officials whose campaign headquarters do not resemble the final 20 minutes of a Spirit Halloween liquidation sale.

At press time, Annapolis officials had examined the wreckage and announced plans to solve the problem by raising the sales tax on folding chairs.

The Canton Cat declined further comment after discovering the abandoned table might contain unattended sandwiches.