FREDERICK — Rep. April McClain Delaney appeared beside the canal this week dressed like a blueberry Fruit Roll-Up to remind Maryland’s 6th District that, if ICE activity makes you nervous, her congressional office is standing by with phones, staffers, links and enough “Know Your Rights” material to wallpaper a detention center.

The message was simple:

See ICE? Know your rights. Call my office.

The Canton Cat heard:

“Welcome to McClain Delaney Immigration Customer Support. Your federal enforcement concern is very important to us.”

Delaney said her office is “closely monitoring the situation” and “demanding answers,” which in congressional language generally means somebody has opened a spreadsheet and several strongly worded emails are about to experience democracy.

To be fair, informing people of their constitutional rights is perfectly legitimate.

But the optics are still spectacular.

A sitting member of Congress wandered down to the canal in an electric-blue suit to record social-media content explaining what constituents should do when federal immigration agents appear.

Nothing says serious constitutional governance like filming vertical video beside the water while dressed as the snack you find fused to the bottom of a third-grader’s lunchbox.

The Canton Cat imagined the office hotline:

PRESS 1: Know your rights.
PRESS 2: Locate an attorney.
PRESS 3: Ask why Congress never fixed immigration law.
PRESS 4: Hear Congress blame somebody else for not fixing immigration law.
PRESS 5: Return to TikTok.

Callers selecting option three are reportedly placed on hold indefinitely.

At press time, Blueberry Fruit Roll-Up was preparing another video titled:

“Congress Has Been Working on Immigration Reform for 40 Years, Please Stop Asking When It Will Be Finished.”