Category: immigration

2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Activism, Communism, Socialism, What's the difference?, Community Guidelines, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Extremist Behaviors, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, immigration, Isms and Phobias, Maryland, maryland man, Nationality, Overreach, Politics, public safety, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics, Surveillance, Transportation, Travel & Leisure

Maryland Democrats Suddenly Discover Border Security After Republican Crosses State Line From Texas

Maryland Democrats are reacting to House candidate Charles Murphy’s dual voter registration in Texas and Maryland by initiating an emergency immigration policy aimed at excluding newcomers from Texas. They established checkpoints and proposed new citizenship tests, emphasizing the need for a cultural fit over traditional immigration concerns, dubbing this initiative “Texophobia.” Continue reading Maryland Democrats Suddenly Discover Border Security After Republican Crosses State Line From Texas

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Bach's Boombox, Community Guidelines, Culture & Absurdity, DEI or IED, immigration, Media Critique, New York, Religion & Faith, Sports & Whatever

NFL Delays Bills-Lions Kickoff Until Every Country on Earth Gets an Anthem and a Prayer Rug

The NFL’s Thursday Night Football opening at the new Bills stadium featured an elaborate pregame ceremony with multiple anthems and prayer mats, alienating fans who expected a traditional football experience. Critics noted the ceremony felt bureaucratic and unnecessarily complex, overshadowing the actual game as fans yearned for simpler pregame rituals. Continue reading NFL Delays Bills-Lions Kickoff Until Every Country on Earth Gets an Anthem and a Prayer Rug

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crime, Crime Beat, Drugs, Food & Health, Global News, immigration, Law Enforcement

CDC Declares Lettuce Outbreak Over Moments Before Feds Discover Cabbage Trafficking a Metric Shit-Ton of Meth

The CDC declared the Cyclospora outbreak linked to iceberg lettuce over, but federal agents in Texas discovered over 2,000 pounds of methamphetamine concealed in cabbage shipments. This ironic twist led to humorous commentary on the neglect of cabbage while lettuce faced scrutiny. Investigators continue their search for the perpetrators behind the hidden drugs. Continue reading CDC Declares Lettuce Outbreak Over Moments Before Feds Discover Cabbage Trafficking a Metric Shit-Ton of Meth

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Activism, Congress, Congress & Power, democrats, Democrazy, Extremist Behaviors, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, immigration, Law & Order, Maryland, Politics, public safety, social media, State & Local, Washington absurdity

Blueberry Fruit Roll-Up Rolls Down to the Canal to Film TikTok About Calling Congress Before ICE Calls You

April McClain Delaney rolls up to the canal in electric blue to film a “Know Your Rights” video, while the Canton Cat wonders whether Congress plans to fix immigration law before the next TikTok. Continue reading Blueberry Fruit Roll-Up Rolls Down to the Canal to Film TikTok About Calling Congress Before ICE Calls You

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, absurd politics, Community Guidelines, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Extremist Behaviors, Gangs & Cults, immigration, Internet Meltdowns, Nationality, Online Abuse, Politics, Protests, Psychos & Crazies, social media

9/12/2001 Remains Last Known Sighting of National Unity; Authorities Request Tips

Federal authorities have reopened a cold case regarding the disappearance of national unity in America, last seen on September 12, 2001. Investigators share sightings of unity were often disappointing and suggest the internet may be to blame. Citizens are encouraged to check for signs of unity, which remains elusive and possibly hiding under alternative names. Continue reading 9/12/2001 Remains Last Known Sighting of National Unity; Authorities Request Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, Advocacy, crime, Culture & Absurdity, editorial, Extremist Behaviors, Gangs & Cults, Government, Government Dysfunction, History, immigration, Law Enforcement, National Security, New York, Pennsylvania, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, Politics, Psychos & Crazies, public safety, remembrance, Washington DC

Never Forget Who Did This

Remember the victims. Remember the heroes. But also remember who planned the attack, who carried it out, and the ideology that convinced nineteen terrorists that murdering civilians was holy. Continue reading Never Forget Who Did This

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, crime, Elections, Government, immigration, Law & Order, Law Enforcement, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Cheryl Riley Backs Maryland Sheriffs; Jamie Raskin Reportedly Begins 47-Minute Lecture Explaining Why Arresting Criminals Is Actually Complicated

Cheryl Riley supports Harford County Sheriff Jeffrey Gahler and other Maryland sheriffs in opposing sanctuary policies, arguing they prioritize ideology over public safety. She criticizes Congressman Jamie Raskin for his lengthy, evasive responses to crucial issues. Riley believes voters should replace Raskin with someone more focused on pragmatic solutions. Continue reading Cheryl Riley Backs Maryland Sheriffs; Jamie Raskin Reportedly Begins 47-Minute Lecture Explaining Why Arresting Criminals Is Actually Complicated

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Politics, Press & Free Speech

Laura Loomer Demands Mehdi Hasan Be Deported, Internet Responds With Completely Normal and Healthy Conversation

Laura Loomer wants Mehdi Hasan denaturalized over a resurfaced plane-crash post. The Canton Cat checks whether citizenship now comes with a social-media terms-of-service agreement. Continue reading Laura Loomer Demands Mehdi Hasan Be Deported, Internet Responds With Completely Normal and Healthy Conversation

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
immigration, Minnesota, Olympics, Protests, Sports & Whatever

Minnesota Antifa Puts Minneapolis on Pause to Watch Ilya Malinin Skate, Gives Locals Minutes to Find Their Vehicles

In Minneapolis, anti-ICE protesters took an unusual temporary ceasefire during Olympic figure skating, prioritizing Ilya Malinin’s performance over their ongoing demonstrations. Traffic flow improved briefly as demonstrators paused their actions, only to resume after watching the event. The surreal moment highlighted the unique blend of local culture and political activism. Continue reading Minnesota Antifa Puts Minneapolis on Pause to Watch Ilya Malinin Skate, Gives Locals Minutes to Find Their Vehicles

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, immigration, Olympics, Politics, Sports & Whatever

Breaking: Trump Announces ‘Most Secure Olympics Ever’ by Replacing Team USA with ICE Agents

In a satirical announcement, Donald Trump proposed sending ICE agents instead of athletes to the 2026 Winter Olympics, claiming it showcases “American excellence.” The plan involves reimagining traditional sports as compliance exercises, leading to widespread protests and confusion. Critics question its legitimacy and impact on Olympic values. Continue reading Breaking: Trump Announces ‘Most Secure Olympics Ever’ by Replacing Team USA with ICE Agents

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment