BALTIMORE — Professional political cartoonists are reportedly furious that AI-generated cartoons have reached the Baltimore Sun, denouncing the technology as lazy, soulless “slop” that threatens the dignity of their craft.

The Canton Cat, reached behind a liquor store eating something that may once have been chicken, issued a formal response:

“Correct. It is slop. I’m a stray cat. You expected watercolor?”

The controversy has sparked passionate defenses of hand-drawn political cartooning, a noble tradition built on decades of artistic training, sharpened pencils, and editors pretending anybody under 55 still buys newspapers for the cartoons.

The Canton Cat respects the craft.

He just has one minor accessibility problem:

HE HAS FUCKING PAWS.

“I tried holding a pencil,” the Cat explained. “It shot across the room, I attacked it, then slept for four hours. Deadline missed.”

Traditional cartoonists say AI cannot replicate the soul of a human artist.

Fair point.

It can, however, replicate the Canton Cat’s editorial workflow remarkably well:

1. Have stupid idea.
2. Type stupid idea.
3. Generate image.
4. Discover politician has seven fingers.
5. Call it symbolism.

The Cat also rejected accusations that AI eliminates artistic struggle.

“Have you ever tried getting an image generator to spell ‘Maryland’ correctly?” he asked. “Michelangelo had it easy.”

Critics insist political cartoons should contain the unmistakable hand of the artist.

The Canton Cat again pointed toward his paw.

No hand detected.

One Baltimore-area cartoon purist reportedly complained that AI imagery lacked nuance, craftsmanship and humanity.

The Cat nodded thoughtfully before licking himself for nine uninterrupted minutes.

“Humanity was never really my brand.”

Asked whether he feared being called an AI slop merchant, the Cat seemed confused.

“I’m an alley animal running a fake newspaper and insulting politicians from beside a dumpster. Were you under the impression this was The New Yorker?”

At press time, the Canton Cat had announced a bold new commitment to traditional art by purchasing a box of crayons.

He ate two.

AI production resumes Monday.