Category: Washington DC

absurd politics, Artificial Stupidity, CatGPT, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Cultural Meltdowns, democrats, Democrazy, End of Days, Extremist Behaviors, Government, Nuclear War, Politics, public safety, Science & Culture, State vs. Federal Politics, Vermont, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Bernie Sanders Announces Latest Apocalypse After Previous Apocalypses Inconveniently Fail to Finish the Job

Senator Bernie Sanders recently highlighted the dangers of artificial intelligence, claiming it may pose greater threats to humanity than nuclear weapons. He has a history of issuing urgent warnings about existential risks. Sanders now advocates for a pause in advanced AI development and a ban on superintelligent systems, continuing his pattern of alarm over potential catastrophes. Continue reading Bernie Sanders Announces Latest Apocalypse After Previous Apocalypses Inconveniently Fail to Finish the Job

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Animals, federal agencies, Government, Law & Order, National Security, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

FBI Updates Hiring Standards, Nation Relieved to Learn ‘Did You Have Sex With an Animal?’ Now Requires Follow-Up Questions

FBI Director Kash Patel defended new hiring rules that no longer automatically disqualify individuals involved in bestiality, aiming to differentiate between coerced and voluntary acts. This change led to a surreal Senate hearing and raised concerns over the complexities in interviewing candidates. The FBI is working to clarify their application process. Continue reading FBI Updates Hiring Standards, Nation Relieved to Learn ‘Did You Have Sex With an Animal?’ Now Requires Follow-Up Questions

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Book Worms, Campaigns, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Entertainment, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Kentucky, Maryland, People & Personalities, Politics, State & Local, Urban Absurdity, voter outreach, Washington absurdity, Washington DC, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Wes Moore Charges $53 to Watch Him Agree With Andy Beshear About How Much They Agree

Maryland Gov. Wes Moore and Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear will discuss Beshear’s book at George Washington University on September 22, with tickets priced at $53. The event, expected to focus on healing political divides, may feature typical political discourse. Observations about tuition costs make the ticket seem like a bargain in comparison. Continue reading Wes Moore Charges $53 to Watch Him Agree With Andy Beshear About How Much They Agree

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Crazy Cat Lady, crime, Crime Beat, Government, Government Dysfunction, Psychos & Crazies, Stupid White People, Travel & Leisure, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Woman Breaks Into Reflecting Pool, Says It Was an Accident After Apparently Losing Fight With a Fence

A woman entered the Reflecting Pool through a broken fence, got stuck, and claimed it was an accident. This incident humorously inspired the “Whoopsie Defense,” highlighting the absurdity of crossing barriers. Authorities are set to address the fence issue through bureaucratic processes, while the woman and the pool remain unharmed. Continue reading Woman Breaks Into Reflecting Pool, Says It Was an Accident After Apparently Losing Fight With a Fence

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Conspiracies, Conspiracy Theories, Democrazy, Government, Government Dysfunction, Health & Medical, Kentucky, Missing Persons, Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Mitch McConnell Missing From Senate for Three Months, Capitol Staff Finally Check Behind the Curtains

Sen. Mitch McConnell’s three-month absence from the Senate due to health recovery has sparked concerns about transparency and his fitness to serve. Critics question the practice of receiving salary without attendance, leading to proposed reforms like mandatory wellness checks. Meanwhile, McConnell’s office insists he’s engaged remotely, raising further questions about the Senate’s operational necessity. Continue reading Mitch McConnell Missing From Senate for Three Months, Capitol Staff Finally Check Behind the Curtains

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, Congress & Power, Crypto, democrats, Dysfunctional Technology, Government, Maryland, Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Chris Van Hollen Demands Clear Crypto Rules, Blocks Bill Called the CLARITY Act

Sen. Chris Van Hollen criticized the crypto industry for operating without clear regulations while simultaneously blocking the CLARITY Act, which aimed to establish such rules. This paradox highlights a common governmental pattern: decrying regulatory gaps yet impeding progress, leaving crypto firms in confusion over future regulations. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen Demands Clear Crypto Rules, Blocks Bill Called the CLARITY Act

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, crime, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Maryland lawmakers Jamie Raskin and Chris Van Hollen reacted dramatically after a contractor admitted to flaws in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool renovation. Raskin connected the mishap to broader political conspiracies, assembling investigative teams, while Van Hollen stressed accountability. Meanwhile, a contractor revealed the issue was simply a materials error, but everyone ignored him. Continue reading Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, Advocacy, crime, Culture & Absurdity, editorial, Extremist Behaviors, Gangs & Cults, Government, Government Dysfunction, History, immigration, Law Enforcement, National Security, New York, Pennsylvania, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, Politics, Psychos & Crazies, public safety, remembrance, Washington DC

Never Forget Who Did This

Remember the victims. Remember the heroes. But also remember who planned the attack, who carried it out, and the ideology that convinced nineteen terrorists that murdering civilians was holy. Continue reading Never Forget Who Did This

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Media Critique, Politics, social media, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

DNC Influencer Guy Investigates Reflecting Pool, Finally Finds Body of Water Shallow Enough for His Journalism

The Democratic Party’s Matt Rein is producing sensational online content about mundane topics, like the Reflecting Pool’s appearance, in an attempt to engage voters. Critics argue this trivial focus detracts from pressing issues, highlighting a disconnect within the party as they attempt to rival more substantial conservative media efforts. Continue reading DNC Influencer Guy Investigates Reflecting Pool, Finally Finds Body of Water Shallow Enough for His Journalism

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, democrats, Democrazy, Government, Judicial, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, supreme-court, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Jamie Raskin Calls Supreme Court “Illegitimate,” Demands Democrats Be Allowed to Make It Illegitimate Correctly

Rep. Jamie Raskin criticized the Supreme Court as “illegitimate” due to its conservative majority and proposed adding four justices to restore legitimacy. His argument implies that institutions are only corrupt when they lack Democratic control. The commentary highlights Raskin’s perceived hypocrisy and the absurdity of politicizing judicial reform for partisan gain. Continue reading Jamie Raskin Calls Supreme Court “Illegitimate,” Demands Democrats Be Allowed to Make It Illegitimate Correctly

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment