WASHINGTON — A woman reportedly entered the Reflecting Pool through a broken fence, got stuck trying to climb back out, and then told Park Service officers it was all an accident.

Sure.

And I accidentally spent last night inside a seafood restaurant after accidentally defeating three locks.

The Canton Cat has reviewed the available evidence and would like to introduce Washington’s newest legal doctrine:

The Whoopsie Defense.

Crossed a fence?
Whoopsie.

Entered a restricted national landmark?
Whoopsie.

Got caught halfway back over the barrier like a raccoon fleeing a dumpster?
Major whoopsie.

Authorities reportedly asked what happened.

Presumably the explanation went something like:

“I was walking normally, then suddenly I was trespassing federally.”

An easy mistake.

One minute you’re sightseeing.

The next you’ve somehow breached a government perimeter and are climbing infrastructure like the world’s least competent Mission: Impossible extra.

Even the Reflecting Pool was reportedly embarrassed.

It spent several minutes reflecting on the incident before concluding:

“Jesus Christ.”

The real victim, however, may be the fence, which apparently had exactly one job and still managed to perform it at the same level as most Washington institutions.

Park Service officials are now expected to repair the breach using the federal government’s proven emergency response system:

First, conduct a study.

Then commission another study reviewing the first study.

Then allocate $8.7 million.

Then discover the fence still has a hole in it.

At press time, the woman was safe, the pool remained intact, and Washington had successfully turned “don’t climb through the broken fence” into yet another policy challenge requiring federal employees.