WASHINGTON — Rep. Jamie Raskin spent the day warning America that the Supreme Court has become dangerously “illegitimate” and “gerrymandered,” before once again supporting the completely unrelated idea of adding four justices until Democrats like the scoreboard better.

Amazing.

The man is basically standing outside a casino screaming “THE GAME IS RIGGED!” while stuffing extra aces into his sleeve.

Raskin’s complaint appears to be that Republicans have influenced the Court through the evil, extremist process known as winning elections and confirming judges.

His proposed fix?

Change the number of judges.

Very subtle.

Even a Baltimore alley rat would look at that and say, “Brother, maybe don’t use the word ‘packing.’”

Raskin argued that the current Court lacks legitimacy because of its composition, ethics controversies and conservative majority.

Then came the intellectual backflip:

We must restore legitimacy by expanding the Court until my political faction controls it.

That’s not judicial reform.

That’s losing Monopoly and announcing the bank now contains four additional properties that belong to you.

Political scientists have identified this condition as Raskin’s Law:

An institution is illegitimate whenever Jamie Raskin does not control enough of it.

The Senate?

Illegitimate.

The Supreme Court?

Illegitimate.

The presidency when Republicans win?

Constitutional crisis.

The Constitution itself?

A beautiful sacred document that urgently needs several modifications because Jamie is currently losing.

Raskin also complained that conservatives had “stacked and packed” the Roberts Court, apparently hoping nobody in America remembers Democrats openly debating whether to expand the Court.

This is the political equivalent of a raccoon emerging from your kitchen carrying a ham and demanding an investigation into who keeps stealing food.

And then there’s the spectacle of Washington politicians lecturing anyone about ethics.

Congress discussing judicial ethics is like a dumpster giving restaurant sanitation grades.

I say this as an actual dumpster professional.

At least when I drag a chicken wing into an alley, I don’t hold a press conference about protecting democratic norms.

By sunset, Raskin had reportedly developed a comprehensive plan to restore confidence in American institutions:

Step 1: Declare institution corrupt.

Step 2: Expand institution.

Step 3: Fill new seats with people you prefer.

Step 4: Call this “saving democracy.”

Step 5: Go on MSNBC and look deeply concerned.

Frankly, the only thing missing is a giant novelty lever labeled:

PULL IN CASE REPUBLICANS WIN.

As a stray cat, I respect shamelessness.

I knock over garbage cans and stare directly at the homeowner while doing it.

But even I don’t knock over the can and then demand four additional garbage cans because the first one was “gerrymandered.”