ANNAPOLIS — Gov. Wes Moore assured Marylanders this week that the state will absolutely not sit on its hands while getting punched in the face, a bold declaration immediately followed by a request that everyone report to the ballot box and decide whether they’d like to rearrange the boxing ring.

Moore was promoting Question 3, Maryland’s redistricting proposal, when he delivered the line:

“Maryland will not sit on our hands while getting punched in the face.”

Finally.

Leadership.

For years, I thought the official Maryland strategy was to get punched in the face, raise the tolls, increase the electric bill, form a commission to study the bruising, and then blame Virginia.

Apparently we have evolved.

Now we get punched in the face while aggressively redrawing maps.

Delegate Mark Fisher responded that watching the whole thing was like Idiocracy becoming real life, which seems unfair to Idiocracy, a film where at least the problems were eventually identified.

Sources inside Annapolis say Moore’s new governing philosophy has already been expanded into several additional initiatives:

• Getting kicked in the shin? Constitutional amendment.
• Wallet missing? Blue-ribbon commission.
• House on fire? Task force on equitable smoke.
• Can’t afford electricity? Please enjoy this exciting democracy initiative.
• Cat stole your sandwich? That one was me. No regrets.

Moore insists Question 3 is about allowing Marylanders to “decide for ourselves what our democracy is going to look like.”

Which is encouraging, because Maryland voters have spent years wondering when they would finally be consulted about what Maryland politicians already decided Maryland voters should decide.

Political experts describe the process as “democracy, but with the answer key distributed in Annapolis first.”

Meanwhile, Moore has reportedly instructed staff to stop using phrases like “taking it on the chin,” fearing it could accidentally trigger another statewide ballot initiative.

At press time, Maryland lawmakers were preparing emergency legislation officially declaring that the state will not lie down and take it anymore, unless lying down qualifies for a federal matching grant.

As for me, I’m a stray cat.

I’ve been punched in the face by three raccoons behind a Royal Farms dumpster and still somehow have a simpler redistricting policy:

Draw the district. Hold an election. Stop touching the damn map.