Category: Series

absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, Schools & Education & Schools, State & Local

Montgomery County Announces Bold New Education Plan: Simply Hope September Gets Colder

Montgomery County Public Schools warned that old HVAC systems may struggle during the heat, raising concerns for classrooms. County Executive candidate Esther Wells criticized Councilmember Will Jawando for insufficiently addressing these issues, suggesting reallocating funds. Despite billions in school spending, officials emphasize that the heat warning won’t lead to closures. Continue reading Montgomery County Announces Bold New Education Plan: Simply Hope September Gets Colder

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Arts & Entertainment, democrats, Entertainment, Maryland, Politics

Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss It

Wes Moore posted another “ICYMI” clip from a festival stage, so naturally Maryland residents were reminded that the governor remains undefeated in finding microphones, cameras, and inspirational nouns. Continue reading Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss It

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Elections, Florida, Florida, Maryland, Politics

Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight

Wes Moore found time to referee a Florida Twitter fight involving Laura Loomer and Angie Nixon. Maryland residents, meanwhile, are still holding for utility relief, better roads, lower costs and occasional gubernatorial attention. Continue reading Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Beer, California, Congress & Power, constitutional rights, Cultural Meltdowns, Maryland, Politics, voter outreach

Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin Allegedly Discover Socialism’s Final Boss: Stealing the Poor Man’s Beer

Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin head to California to teach socialists how redistribution works and, in The Canton Cat’s completely fictional account, accidentally steal 34,000 cans of the working man’s beer. The proletariat is not amused. Continue reading Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin Allegedly Discover Socialism’s Final Boss: Stealing the Poor Man’s Beer

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Michigan, Politics

Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Abdul El-Sayed wanted a heartfelt campaign moment. The internet saw a nervous supporter reading notes while politicians hovered nearby and immediately started making hostage-video jokes. Somewhere, a consultant is asking for one more take. Continue reading Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Maryland, Politics

DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems

The DNC interviewed nearly 10,000 people who voted in 2020 but stayed home in 2024. Canton Cat interviewed 37 humans, four raccoons and one confused delivery driver behind a Wawa—and somehow got to “everything costs too much” much faster. Continue reading DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Celebrity, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Internet Meltdowns, Politics

Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sets Out to Capture Laura Loomer Before MAGA Eats Itself Alive

Marjorie Taylor Greene has apparently become MAGA’s Dog the Bounty Hunter, chasing Laura Loomer through another Republican civil war while the actual Democrat quietly enjoys the free advertising. Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sets Out to Capture Laura Loomer Before MAGA Eats Itself Alive

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Democrazy, Elections, Environment, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Politics, Uncategorized

Jamie Raskin Survives Wind Gust in Iowa, Vows to Defend Democracy Against Weather

Jamie Raskin survived a dangerous encounter with Iowa wind, a flapping television tent and several concerned staffers. The republic, somehow, remains intact. Continue reading Jamie Raskin Survives Wind Gust in Iowa, Vows to Defend Democracy Against Weather

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Politics, Press & Free Speech

Laura Loomer Demands Mehdi Hasan Be Deported, Internet Responds With Completely Normal and Healthy Conversation

Laura Loomer wants Mehdi Hasan denaturalized over a resurfaced plane-crash post. The Canton Cat checks whether citizenship now comes with a social-media terms-of-service agreement. Continue reading Laura Loomer Demands Mehdi Hasan Be Deported, Internet Responds With Completely Normal and Healthy Conversation

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment