Category: Culture & Absurdity

absurd politics, Arts & Entertainment, Culture & Absurdity, democrats, Dysfunctional Technology, Games, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Evan Glass Asks Fortune Teller What His Political Future Holds, Machine Immediately Requests Another $20

Montgomery County Councilmember Evan Glass consulted a fortune-telling machine named Zoltar for political advice, humorously outsourcing his strategy. The machine’s responses ranged from cryptic predictions about future announcements to warnings about fiscal restraint. Political insiders found the consultation entertaining and refreshingly honest compared to traditional polling methods. Continue reading Evan Glass Asks Fortune Teller What His Political Future Holds, Machine Immediately Requests Another $20

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Activism, Arts & Entertainment, Celebrity, Culture & Absurdity, Entertainment, Extremist Behaviors, Global News, Government, International, Iran, Military & Foreign Policy, NATO & Global Absurdity, New York, People & Personalities, Protests, Psychos & Crazies, Sex Sells

Yoko Ono Announces Nude Times Square War Protest, Iran Immediately Requests Ceasefire

Yoko Ono allegedly plans to walk nude through Times Square to protest the war with Iran, prompting a bizarre mix of reactions. Some view her act as a potential deterrent, while others question its diplomatic value. In response, Iran has proposed negotiations to avoid the unconventional protest. Continue reading Yoko Ono Announces Nude Times Square War Protest, Iran Immediately Requests Ceasefire

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Celebrity, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Health & Medical, Missing Persons, People & Personalities, Psychos & Crazies, Race Baiters, Sex Sells

Rachel Dolezal Reinvents Herself as Sex Coach, Because Apparently One Identity Crisis Wasn’t Enough

Rachel Dolezal, now Nkechi Diallo, has transitioned into sex coaching after her controversial past as a leader in the Spokane NAACP and her identity misrepresentation. As she studies sexology, her coaching may address intimacy and relationships, prompting debate over her credibility. Critics question her role, while supporters highlight her understanding of personal authenticity. Continue reading Rachel Dolezal Reinvents Herself as Sex Coach, Because Apparently One Identity Crisis Wasn’t Enough

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, business, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, democrats, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Overreach, Politics, Sports & Whatever, State & Local

Lt. Gov. Aruna Miller Attends Frederick Keys Playoff Game, Keys Immediately Eliminated

The Frederick Keys’ playoff run ended disastrously with a 7-5 loss to Greensboro after Maryland Lt. Gov. Aruna Miller attended Game 3. Fans suspected her presence led to the defeat, prompting calls for investigation into political interference. Officials denied any connection, yet the incident sparked humor and superstition among local supporters. Continue reading Lt. Gov. Aruna Miller Attends Frederick Keys Playoff Game, Keys Immediately Eliminated

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Extremist Behaviors, Government, National Security, Nationality, remembrance

9/11 Anniversary Ends, Nation Returns To Regularly Scheduled Hatred

After the annual September 11 remembrance, Americans swiftly resumed their divisive behavior, quickly returning to online hostility and political arguments. Reflecting on unity was short-lived, as social media users transitioned from mourning to petty disputes. This cycle of brief reflection before returning to conflict has become a disturbing annual tradition. Continue reading 9/11 Anniversary Ends, Nation Returns To Regularly Scheduled Hatred

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, crime, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Maryland lawmakers Jamie Raskin and Chris Van Hollen reacted dramatically after a contractor admitted to flaws in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool renovation. Raskin connected the mishap to broader political conspiracies, assembling investigative teams, while Van Hollen stressed accountability. Meanwhile, a contractor revealed the issue was simply a materials error, but everyone ignored him. Continue reading Raskin, Van Hollen Turn Peeling Pool Liner Into Watergate: Aquatic Edition

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, absurd politics, Community Guidelines, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Extremist Behaviors, Gangs & Cults, immigration, Internet Meltdowns, Nationality, Online Abuse, Politics, Protests, Psychos & Crazies, social media

9/12/2001 Remains Last Known Sighting of National Unity; Authorities Request Tips

Federal authorities have reopened a cold case regarding the disappearance of national unity in America, last seen on September 12, 2001. Investigators share sightings of unity were often disappointing and suggest the internet may be to blame. Citizens are encouraged to check for signs of unity, which remains elusive and possibly hiding under alternative names. Continue reading 9/12/2001 Remains Last Known Sighting of National Unity; Authorities Request Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, absurd politics, Culture & Absurdity, Extremist Behaviors, Global News, Government, International, National Security, Phobias, Politics

Terrorists Chanting “Death to America” Reportedly Concerned Americans May Be Developing Negative Impression of Them

Terrorists chanting “Death to America” are reportedly confused about why Americans remain suspicious, forcing the Canton Cat to explain one of history’s more obvious public-relations failures. Continue reading Terrorists Chanting “Death to America” Reportedly Concerned Americans May Be Developing Negative Impression of Them

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Culture & Absurdity, Food & Health, Health & Medical, Maryland, Politics, Race Baiters, State & Local, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Wes Moore Announces Black Men’s Wellness Day, Every Other Man Checks Calendar for When He’s Allowed to Feel Terrible

Governor Wes Moore is spearheading Black Men’s Wellness Day in Baltimore, promoting health screenings and resources specifically for Black men. This has sparked replies from other male demographics, questioning their lack of inclusion. While state officials emphasize targeted health disparities, the event’s exclusivity has led to humorous suggestions for future wellness days. Continue reading Wes Moore Announces Black Men’s Wellness Day, Every Other Man Checks Calendar for When He’s Allowed to Feel Terrible

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
9/11, Advocacy, crime, Culture & Absurdity, editorial, Extremist Behaviors, Gangs & Cults, Government, Government Dysfunction, History, immigration, Law Enforcement, National Security, New York, Pennsylvania, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, Politics, Psychos & Crazies, public safety, remembrance, Washington DC

Never Forget Who Did This

Remember the victims. Remember the heroes. But also remember who planned the attack, who carried it out, and the ideology that convinced nineteen terrorists that murdering civilians was holy. Continue reading Never Forget Who Did This

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment