SPOKANE, Wash. — Rachel Dolezal, now going by Nkechi Diallo, has reportedly entered the world of sex coaching, continuing what may be America’s longest-running experiment in asking:

“What profession would be funniest next?”

Dolezal became nationally infamous after presenting herself as Black while leading the Spokane NAACP chapter, despite being born to white parents. She later changed her name, launched an OnlyFans account, and is now pursuing sex-coaching work while studying through a sexology program.

The Canton Cat has reviewed the career trajectory and would like to congratulate LinkedIn for surviving it.

NAACP PRESIDENT
IDENTITY CONTROVERSY
ONLYFANS
SEX COACH

Somewhere, a résumé template just burst into flames.

Sources say her coaching may focus on intimacy, relationships, and sexuality, which is fitting because few Americans have demonstrated more confidence in saying:

“I have decided this is who I am now.”

Prospective clients can reportedly expect practical guidance such as:

“Communication is key.”

“Be authentic with your partner.”

and, presumably,

“Authenticity has a surprisingly flexible definition.”

The Canton Cat, who has used the same identity since being born behind a liquor store, admitted he is struggling to keep up.

“I’ve been one cat my whole life. Apparently I lack ambition.”

Critics questioned whether someone famous for constructing an elaborate public identity should really be coaching other people through intimate honesty.

Supporters countered that nobody understands roleplay better.

Fair point.

Industry experts say successful sex coaching often requires trust, openness, and helping clients become comfortable with who they really are.

At which point the room reportedly became extremely quiet.

The Canton Cat suggested a possible slogan for the new practice:

RACHEL DOLEZAL SEX COACHING
BE YOURSELF.
OR WHATEVER’S WORKING THIS QUARTER.

At press time, Dolezal had already reinvented herself again while the rest of America was still trying to update the Wikipedia intro.