Berney Flowers is bringing Barry White energy to Maryland politics with a fictional campaign album packed with slow jams, soulful promises, and enough bass to make undecided voters clutch their ballots. Continue reading Berney Flowers Announces Soul Album to Seduce Maryland Voters One Ballad at a Time
Maryland Governor Wes Moore launched a provocative policy platform focused solely on promoting his image. Under the IDGAF Agenda, decisions will prioritize what benefits Moore personally. He emphasized transparency, stating residents will support him visually during press conferences. This unusual approach stirred reactions, with merchandise already being sold to commemorate it. Continue reading Wes Moore Announces Bold New Governing Philosophy: “I Don’t Give a Fuck About Any of You”
Fitzgerald Mofor’s campaign has walked more than 186 miles and knocked nearly 10,000 doors, making one man with sneakers look suspiciously more efficient than Maryland transportation bureaucracy. Continue reading Maryland Candidate Walks 186 Miles, Accidentally Becomes State’s Most Successful Transportation Project
Hasan Piker has allegedly been hiding a devastating secret: by day, socialist streamer; by Sunday, sequins, pom-poms, high kicks, and demands to redistribute touchdowns according to need. Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: Hasan Piker’s Secret Life as an NFL Cheerleader Finally Exposed
Wes Moore posted another “ICYMI” clip from a festival stage, so naturally Maryland residents were reminded that the governor remains undefeated in finding microphones, cameras, and inspirational nouns. Continue reading Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss It
Wes Moore found time to referee a Florida Twitter fight involving Laura Loomer and Angie Nixon. Maryland residents, meanwhile, are still holding for utility relief, better roads, lower costs and occasional gubernatorial attention. Continue reading Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight
Abdul El-Sayed wanted a heartfelt campaign moment. The internet saw a nervous supporter reading notes while politicians hovered nearby and immediately started making hostage-video jokes. Somewhere, a consultant is asking for one more take. Continue reading Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice
The DNC interviewed nearly 10,000 people who voted in 2020 but stayed home in 2024. Canton Cat interviewed 37 humans, four raccoons and one confused delivery driver behind a Wawa—and somehow got to “everything costs too much” much faster. Continue reading DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems
Wes Moore is back on the international stage, this time celebrating in Ghana, while Marylanders remain home enjoying their own traditions: rising bills, potholes, tolls and waiting for the governor to circle back. Continue reading Wes Moore Continues International Tour, Maryland Residents Asked to Please Hold
Marjorie Taylor Greene has apparently become MAGA’s Dog the Bounty Hunter, chasing Laura Loomer through another Republican civil war while the actual Democrat quietly enjoys the free advertising. Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sets Out to Capture Laura Loomer Before MAGA Eats Itself Alive
