ANNAPOLIS — Maryland Gov. Wes Moore has apparently added a new item to his already ambitious job description:

Governor of Maryland. International ceremonial guest. Motivational speaker. Internet hall monitor for Florida politics.

Moore jumped into the increasingly toxic feud surrounding Laura Loomer after she posted racially charged attacks against Florida Democratic Senate nominee Angie Nixon. Moore accused Loomer of “peddling racism,” said she traffics in “low level insults, cruelty, and ugliness,” and told her to “sit this one out.”

Strong words.

Also, quick question from the dumpster:

Did Maryland get fixed while we weren’t looking?

Because the governor seems to have enough spare bandwidth to referee a Florida Senate race from several states away.

Annapolis Apparently Entered Maintenance Mode

Maryland residents may remember Wes Moore from such earlier roles as:

Governor of Maryland.

That position traditionally includes things like budgets, transportation, taxes, utility costs, education, public safety and occasionally being physically located in the state.

But Moore has expanded the portfolio.

International cultural diplomacy?

He’s there.

Cable news?

Available.

National Democratic messaging?

Absolutely.

Florida social-media beef?

Clear the afternoon.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Maryland, a taxpayer is standing next to a pothole large enough to qualify for congressional representation wondering:

“Should I tag Laura Loomer so the governor notices us?”

Laura Loomer Said Something Vile. This Was Not a Difficult Call.

Loomer’s remarks about Nixon were ugly and racially inflammatory. Even Marjorie Taylor Greene publicly denounced them, saying she “1000%” rejected Loomer’s comments and warning they could hurt Republican Sen. Ashley Moody in the Florida race.

When Marjorie Taylor Greene becomes the person telling everyone to tone it down, the political smoke detector is not merely beeping.

The kitchen is gone.

So Moore condemning Loomer is hardly some heroic act requiring a gubernatorial cavalry charge.

You can say:

“That was racist and disgusting.”

Then return to Maryland.

It takes six seconds.

We timed it.

But Wes Moore Never Just Sends a Tweet

No.

This is Wes Moore.

Every statement must sound like the final monologue before the credits roll.

He wrote that Loomer attacks “brilliant, bold, beautiful Black women” and told her those women are “way out of your league.”

There it is.

The Moore flourish.

A normal politician says:

“These comments are unacceptable.”

Wes Moore says:

“The arc of moral courage bends toward brilliant, bold, beautiful people whose joy shall not be stolen by those unworthy of our collective light.”

Sir.

It’s Twitter.

You are not accepting the Nobel Peace Prize.

Maryland Residents Would Also Like Someone to Defend Their Joy

Moore wrote:

“We will never let anyone steal our joy.”

Beautiful.

Maryland utility customers have a related concern.

They would like BGE to stop stealing their checking-account balance.

Drivers would like tolls to stop stealing their lunch money.

Taxpayers would like Annapolis to stop finding exciting new uses for their wallets.

Commuters would like potholes to stop stealing their suspension systems.

There is an entire population of Marylanders whose joy could use armed protection.

Yet somehow the governor’s joy-defense unit keeps getting deployed elsewhere.

New State Motto: “If It Trends Nationally, Wes Will Be There”

The pattern is becoming difficult to miss.

Moore is extraordinarily comfortable discussing national politics, national culture, international events and anything carrying sufficient camera density.

He has the political instincts of a golden retriever who hears someone opening a refrigerator three rooms away.

Is there attention over there?

Wes is already walking toward it.

A Florida Democrat gets attacked online?

Governor Moore reports for duty.

Maryland residents complain about affordability?

Please submit your concern through the normal channels.

Estimated response time:

After the next national profile.

The Florida Senate Race Will Somehow Survive Without Annapolis

Nixon is running against Republican Sen. Ashley Moody. Greene explicitly warned that Loomer’s rhetoric could damage Moody politically. Loomer, meanwhile, has doubled down rather than retracting her attacks.

That is Florida’s political circus.

Florida has politicians.

Florida has journalists.

Florida has voters.

Florida has enough weirdness to sustain itself indefinitely without importing Maryland’s governor.

Trust us.

They have this covered.

Maryland, however, currently has exactly one Wes Moore.

Could we borrow him occasionally?

The Governor’s New Constituent Services Flowchart

The Canton Cat has obtained the updated Moore administration response matrix:

Maryland taxpayer asks about utility bills:
Forward to agency.

Resident complains about roads:
Issue infrastructure statement.

Parent asks about schools:
Schedule listening session.

Business owner complains about costs:
Mention inclusive growth.

Random national political controversy:
GOVERNOR PERSONALLY DEPLOYED.

This is apparently what “leave no one behind” means.

Unless you live in Maryland.

Then take a number.

Wes Moore Is Running the National Audition Without Admitting There’s an Audition

Moore insists he is focused on Maryland.

And perhaps he is.

But the man has an astonishing ability to remain focused on Maryland while discussing absolutely everyone except Maryland.

Every national controversy becomes an opportunity to demonstrate leadership.

Every ceremonial appearance becomes a photograph.

Every cultural moment becomes an inspirational caption.

Every television camera becomes a potential constituent.

There are politicians who run for president.

Then there are politicians who spend years producing the trailer.

Moore is currently somewhere around:

WES MOORE: COMING SOON TO A PRIMARY NEAR YOU.

The Canton Cat Offers a Compromise

Condemn Loomer.

Fine.

Her comments deserved condemnation.

Then use the remaining 23 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds of the day on Maryland.

Maybe call someone about electric rates.

Maybe check the budget.

Maybe drive over a bridge.

Maybe ask a resident what their grocery bill looks like.

Maybe simply sit quietly in Annapolis until the urge to enter another state’s political dispute passes.

We can send tuna.

Final Verdict From Behind the Dumpster

Laura Loomer said something reprehensible.

Wes Moore condemned it.

Fine.

But Maryland’s governor has developed an uncanny ability to detect a political emergency anywhere in America except approximately three feet outside the State House.

Florida has its Senate race.

Loomer has her outrage business.

Nixon has her campaign.

Ashley Moody has her opponent.

And Maryland?

Maryland has Wes Moore.

Subject to availability.

If your issue involves utilities, taxes, roads or affordability, please stay on the line.

If your issue is trending nationally, the governor will be with you shortly.

Your call is very important to us.

Reporting From Behind the Dumpster. 🐈