ANNAPOLIS — Gov. Wes Moore reminded Marylanders Monday that, in case they missed it, he had once again appeared on a stage, held a microphone, and said words with tremendous inspirational velocity.

The governor posted “ICYMI 👀” alongside a clip from All Things Go, prompting thousands of Marylanders to respond:

“We were trying to.”

The video featured Moore declaring Maryland should be “the place where everyone can…” before the clip mercifully ended, presumably before another 11 minutes about courage, service, purpose, opportunity, and whatever noun was polling best with consultants this week.

But the real mystery came from the post Moore shared underneath:

Why is Wes Moore apparently showing up on Ke$ha’s Wikipedia page?

State officials quickly denied that Moore had been appointed Secretary of Tik Tok, entered his glitter era, or legally changed Maryland’s motto to “TiK ToK, taxes don’t stop.”

Still, aides reportedly began preparing for the governor’s next major initiative:

The $47 million Maryland Department of Vibes.

Responsibilities will include festival appearances, motivational speeches, curated playlists, ceremonial proclamations, and locating any remaining television camera within a 75-mile radius.

Asked when Moore finds time to actually govern Maryland, a spokesperson explained:

“That’s what the staff is for.”

Meanwhile, the Canton Cat has also launched a music career.

Our debut single is called:

“Your Rent Is Too Damn High But Here’s Another Proclamation.”

It drops as soon as somebody leaves a tuna can unattended.

This is satire. Reporting from behind the dumpster, where even the raccoons have started muting “ICYMI.”