Van Hollen Sees 3,000 Dead and Thinks: Perfect Time to ReLitigate 2020

Senator Chris Van Hollen criticized Rudy Giuliani’s recent comments regarding Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s participation at the 9/11 memorial, branding them as anti-Muslim. Van Hollen’s focus on political implications overshadowed the solemnity of the anniversary, reducing a memorial to a platform for partisan rhetoric, rather than honoring the victims. Continue reading Van Hollen Sees 3,000 Dead and Thinks: Perfect Time to ReLitigate 2020

Wes Moore Promises To “Leave No One Behind,” Confident Most Marylanders Will Be Priced Out Before He Has To

Maryland Governor Wes Moore reassured residents about his commitment to anti-poverty efforts, yet many feel frustrated by rising costs that push them out of the state. Critics suggest the slogan “leave no one behind” masks a reality where rising expenses lead to flight, transforming the poverty rate statistics without effectively addressing the issue. Continue reading Wes Moore Promises To “Leave No One Behind,” Confident Most Marylanders Will Be Priced Out Before He Has To

Doctors Say Jawando Will Recover. Voters Shouldn’t Have To.

Will Jawando is recovering after a heart attack and a stent placement, raising concerns about his ability to effectively campaign for Montgomery County’s executive position. Critics argue he should withdraw in favor of Andrew Friedson or Evan Glass, emphasizing the need for a candidate capable of handling the demands of the election and representing residents’ interests. Continue reading Doctors Say Jawando Will Recover. Voters Shouldn’t Have To.

Angry Insano Man Thanks Unions for Inventing Weekend, Pants, Internet, Alarm Clocks, and Apparently Western Civilization

Sen. Chris Van Hollen celebrated Labor Day by highlighting unions’ contributions to essential worker rights, such as weekends and workplace safety. However, his remarks sparked humor and skepticism, with critics attributing an exaggerated array of inventions to unions. Labor economists noted the complexity of workplace protections, which involve various factors beyond unions alone. Continue reading Angry Insano Man Thanks Unions for Inventing Weekend, Pants, Internet, Alarm Clocks, and Apparently Western Civilization

Jawando Nails Textbook Heart Attack to Escape Debate With Woman Who Can Read a Spreadsheet

Montgomery County Councilmember Will Jawando experienced a heart attack, complicating his campaign as he faces Republican opponent Esther Wells. While recovering, Jawando’s health issues grant him a reprieve from addressing county affordability concerns. Wells struggles with the dilemma of supporting him while pressing for debate on pressing issues without appearing insensitive. Continue reading Jawando Nails Textbook Heart Attack to Escape Debate With Woman Who Can Read a Spreadsheet

Jamie Raskin Calls Supreme Court “Illegitimate,” Demands Democrats Be Allowed to Make It Illegitimate Correctly

Rep. Jamie Raskin criticized the Supreme Court as “illegitimate” due to its conservative majority and proposed adding four justices to restore legitimacy. His argument implies that institutions are only corrupt when they lack Democratic control. The commentary highlights Raskin’s perceived hypocrisy and the absurdity of politicizing judicial reform for partisan gain. Continue reading Jamie Raskin Calls Supreme Court “Illegitimate,” Demands Democrats Be Allowed to Make It Illegitimate Correctly

Wes Moore Announces Maryland Will Not Sit on Its Hands While Getting Punched in Face, Immediately Asks Voters to Hold Still for Another Punch

Gov. Wes Moore says Maryland won’t “sit on our hands while getting punched in the face.” The Canton Cat wonders why the next move involves another redistricting fight. Continue reading Wes Moore Announces Maryland Will Not Sit on Its Hands While Getting Punched in Face, Immediately Asks Voters to Hold Still for Another Punch

Maryland Senate President Bill Ferguson Revealed as Billy the Puppet, Wes Moore’s Favorite Annapolis Ventriloquist Dummy

Maryland political observers uncovered that Senate President Bill Ferguson embodies the role of “Billy the Puppet,” used by Gov. Wes Moore to justify harmful policies and tax increases. Through satirical scenarios, residents are depicted as trapped by escalating costs, while Ferguson appears to explain the supposed benefits of these burdens. Continue reading Maryland Senate President Bill Ferguson Revealed as Billy the Puppet, Wes Moore’s Favorite Annapolis Ventriloquist Dummy

Wes Moore Declares Context Officially Illegal After Trump Clip Fails To Be Outrageous Enough On Its Own

Maryland Governor Wes Moore has adopted a controversial approach to political discourse, openly stating he doesn’t care about context. Following a clipped video of Trump, Moore’s method reportedly prioritizes emotional reactions over factual accuracy. Critics argue this fosters misunderstanding and demonstrates a reckless disregard for the complexities of communication. Continue reading Wes Moore Declares Context Officially Illegal After Trump Clip Fails To Be Outrageous Enough On Its Own

Wes Moore Duct-Taped To Seat After Passengers Hear Bronze Star Story One Time Too Many

A flight diverted to Baltimore due to Maryland Gov. Wes Moore’s repetitive speech on cost reductions, which frustrated passengers who restrained him with duct tape. The incident, marked by humor and chaos, ended with Moore still attempting to explain his administration’s initiatives upon landing, where officials awaited with scissors. Continue reading Wes Moore Duct-Taped To Seat After Passengers Hear Bronze Star Story One Time Too Many