ANNAPOLIS — Gov. Wes Moore this week reassured Marylanders that his administration is committed to “leaving no one behind,” a bold promise many residents found comforting right up until they checked their rent, utility bill, grocery receipt, and U-Haul quote.

The slogan, meant to highlight Moore’s ENOUGH anti-poverty initiative, was quickly translated into plain English by Del. Matt Morgan, who noted the governor may soon need a more accurate version:

“There won’t be anyone left.”

Political analysts say the line captures the essence of Maryland governance: if taxes rise high enough, housing gets expensive enough, and daily life becomes annoying enough, the poverty rate technically improves because everyone with a pulse relocates to Delaware, West Virginia, or the Carolinas.

“This is actually very innovative,” said one state official while adjusting a lanyard and ignoring a constituent. “You can’t leave people behind if they’ve already fled.”

Residents across Maryland reacted positively to the new messaging.

“I used to worry about being left behind,” said one man loading his belongings into a Budget truck. “Now I realize the state just wants to make sure I physically cannot afford to remain in place long enough for that to happen.”

Moore’s office says “leave no one behind” is not just a slogan, but a promise — much like every other uplifting government phrase that eventually results in a press conference, a task force, and a PDF no one reads.

At press time, the administration was reportedly considering a second slogan for middle-class families:

“You’re not being pushed out. You’re being encouraged to explore regional opportunities.”

As a stray cat, I respect the strategy. If you knock over enough trash cans and scare off enough pigeons, eventually the alley looks cleaner too.