Category: Campaigns

Campaigns, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Health & Medical, Maryland, Politics

Doctors Say Jawando Will Recover. Voters Shouldn’t Have To.

Will Jawando is recovering after a heart attack and a stent placement, raising concerns about his ability to effectively campaign for Montgomery County’s executive position. Critics argue he should withdraw in favor of Andrew Friedson or Evan Glass, emphasizing the need for a candidate capable of handling the demands of the election and representing residents’ interests. Continue reading Doctors Say Jawando Will Recover. Voters Shouldn’t Have To.

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Health & Medical, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Jawando Nails Textbook Heart Attack to Escape Debate With Woman Who Can Read a Spreadsheet

Montgomery County Councilmember Will Jawando experienced a heart attack, complicating his campaign as he faces Republican opponent Esther Wells. While recovering, Jawando’s health issues grant him a reprieve from addressing county affordability concerns. Wells struggles with the dilemma of supporting him while pressing for debate on pressing issues without appearing insensitive. Continue reading Jawando Nails Textbook Heart Attack to Escape Debate With Woman Who Can Read a Spreadsheet

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Donald Trump, Elections, Government, Maryland, Military & Foreign Policy, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Wes Moore Declares Context Officially Illegal After Trump Clip Fails To Be Outrageous Enough On Its Own

Maryland Governor Wes Moore has adopted a controversial approach to political discourse, openly stating he doesn’t care about context. Following a clipped video of Trump, Moore’s method reportedly prioritizes emotional reactions over factual accuracy. Critics argue this fosters misunderstanding and demonstrates a reckless disregard for the complexities of communication. Continue reading Wes Moore Declares Context Officially Illegal After Trump Clip Fails To Be Outrageous Enough On Its Own

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, Bach's Boombox, Campaigns, Elections, Entertainment, Government, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, voter outreach

Berney Flowers Announces Soul Album to Seduce Maryland Voters One Ballad at a Time

Berney Flowers is bringing Barry White energy to Maryland politics with a fictional campaign album packed with slow jams, soulful promises, and enough bass to make undecided voters clutch their ballots. Continue reading Berney Flowers Announces Soul Album to Seduce Maryland Voters One Ballad at a Time

Unknown's avatarMichael Phillips1 Comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Culture & Absurdity, Government, Maryland, Politics, State & Local, Westley Watende Omari Moore

Wes Moore Announces Bold New Governing Philosophy: “I Don’t Give a Fuck About Any of You”

Maryland Governor Wes Moore launched a provocative policy platform focused solely on promoting his image. Under the IDGAF Agenda, decisions will prioritize what benefits Moore personally. He emphasized transparency, stating residents will support him visually during press conferences. This unusual approach stirred reactions, with merchandise already being sold to commemorate it. Continue reading Wes Moore Announces Bold New Governing Philosophy: “I Don’t Give a Fuck About Any of You”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, crime, Elections, Government, immigration, Law & Order, Law Enforcement, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Cheryl Riley Backs Maryland Sheriffs; Jamie Raskin Reportedly Begins 47-Minute Lecture Explaining Why Arresting Criminals Is Actually Complicated

Cheryl Riley supports Harford County Sheriff Jeffrey Gahler and other Maryland sheriffs in opposing sanctuary policies, arguing they prioritize ideology over public safety. She criticizes Congressman Jamie Raskin for his lengthy, evasive responses to crucial issues. Riley believes voters should replace Raskin with someone more focused on pragmatic solutions. Continue reading Cheryl Riley Backs Maryland Sheriffs; Jamie Raskin Reportedly Begins 47-Minute Lecture Explaining Why Arresting Criminals Is Actually Complicated

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local, voter outreach

Andy Ellis Demands Four-Way Governor Debate, Accidentally Invents Maryland Political Battle Royale

Maryland gubernatorial candidate Andy Ellis criticized Dan Cox for avoiding debates with all four candidates, claiming it reveals fears of a chaotic political environment. Ellis accused Cox and Wes Moore of maintaining the flawed two-party system and suggested a dramatic new debate format. Maryland voters amusingly contemplated leaving the state amid the debate chaos. Continue reading Andy Ellis Demands Four-Way Governor Debate, Accidentally Invents Maryland Political Battle Royale

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local, Transportation

Maryland Candidate Walks 186 Miles, Accidentally Becomes State’s Most Successful Transportation Project

Fitzgerald Mofor’s campaign has walked more than 186 miles and knocked nearly 10,000 doors, making one man with sneakers look suspiciously more efficient than Maryland transportation bureaucracy. Continue reading Maryland Candidate Walks 186 Miles, Accidentally Becomes State’s Most Successful Transportation Project

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Campaigns, Elections, Michigan, Politics

Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Abdul El-Sayed wanted a heartfelt campaign moment. The internet saw a nervous supporter reading notes while politicians hovered nearby and immediately started making hostage-video jokes. Somewhere, a consultant is asking for one more take. Continue reading Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twice

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, democrats, Democrazy, Elections, Maryland, Politics

DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems

The DNC interviewed nearly 10,000 people who voted in 2020 but stayed home in 2024. Canton Cat interviewed 37 humans, four raccoons and one confused delivery driver behind a Wawa—and somehow got to “everything costs too much” much faster. Continue reading DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problems

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment