ANNAPOLIS — Maryland gubernatorial candidate Andy Ellis accused Dan Cox of being “afraid” to debate all four candidates, apparently deciding the normal two-person debate format was insufficiently chaotic for state politics.

Ellis says Cox and Wes Moore are “propping up the failed two-party system.”

Which is bold, because Maryland politics was already mostly one party, one Republican, and 47 consultants yelling into microphones.

Cox had challenged Moore to multiple debates. Moore agreed to one.

Ellis responded, essentially:

“Cute. Now put everybody in the cage.”

Sources say Maryland Public Television is considering a new format:

Four candidates. Two podiums. One folding chair.

Moderators would ask questions about taxes, crime, education, and why everyone running for governor appears to spend 40% of their day quote-tweeting each other.

The debate would end only when one candidate answers a question directly.

So, sometime in 2029.

Ellis has also alleged “collusion” between Cox and Moore.

Political scientists cautioned that if the two men are secretly working together, they are doing an exceptionally convincing job of pretending they cannot stand each other.

Meanwhile, Maryland voters reacted to the prospect of even more gubernatorial debates by quietly searching:

“Can I vote by leaving the state?”

This is satire. The Canton Cat supports a four-way debate, provided there is a laser pointer on stage and we get to chase it.