BOSTON — Staff at a Massachusetts airport reportedly experienced several confusing minutes Tuesday after Sen. Elizabeth Warren walked through the terminal and somebody allegedly shouted:

“HOLY CRAP, IT’S ELTON JOHN.”

For the record, there’s no credible report that this actually happened. Warren is, however, very much Massachusetts’ senior U.S. senator.

That minor detail has not stopped the Canton Cat from reconstructing the incident exactly as it should have happened.

According to absolutely nobody with authority, airport employees immediately began preparing Gate B37 for an impromptu performance of “Rocket Man.”

Warren reportedly tried explaining:

“I’m Senator Elizabeth Warren.”

The gate agent nodded sympathetically.

“Of course you are, Mr. John. And I’m Billy Joel.”

Things deteriorated when Warren pulled out her Senate identification.

Airport security examined it carefully.

Then asked:

“Is this from the farewell tour?”

Within minutes, passengers began gathering for autographs.

One traveler allegedly handed Warren a copy of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

She handed it back with a proposed wealth tax attached.

Another asked her to sing “Tiny Dancer.”

Warren responded with a 47-minute explanation of banking regulation.

The crowd slowly dispersed.

Airport officials finally realized their mistake after noticing three crucial differences:

Elton John plays piano.

Elton John wears dramatically better glasses.

And Elton John has never interrupted “Bennie and the Jets” to demand that JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon answer the question.

The confusion briefly returned when somebody yelled:

“SING ROCKET MAN!”

Warren reportedly spun around and shouted:

“WHO OWNS THE ROCKET COMPANY?”

Staff immediately confirmed her identity.

A Transportation Security Administration employee then apologized for the misunderstanding.

“From a distance, we saw the glasses, the hair, the colorful jacket and the general aura of somebody prepared to lecture an arena full of people.”

“Easy mistake.”

Warren eventually boarded her flight after authorities assured disappointed passengers there would be no concert.

Her luggage was reportedly selected for additional screening after agents discovered several binders labeled:

PLANS FOR EVERYTHING.

Meanwhile, Elton John was informed about the mix-up and presumably experienced the same reaction every normal human being would:

“What the hell is happening in Massachusetts?”

The Canton Cat attempted to contact Warren for comment but accidentally reached Ticketmaster.

They immediately charged us $387 in convenience fees.

Frankly, that felt more like Massachusetts anyway.