MARYLAND — Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Cox has issued a warning to Marylanders: the communists may already be here.

Not in Moscow.

Not in Havana.

Apparently, they’re sitting on police accountability boards.

In a social media post, Cox argued that “citizen councils” overseeing government are rooted in the Soviet concept of councils — or soviets — and said Maryland’s Police Accountability Boards amount to an attack on police, law and order, and representative democracy.

The Canton Cat immediately dispatched our Cold War correspondent to Montgomery County.

He found three committee meetings, a stack of public-comment forms, two lawyers arguing about procedure and absolutely nobody seizing the means of tuna production.

Disappointing.

Cox’s argument appears to go something like this:

Citizen board → council → soviet → Lenin → communism.

By this standard, the Canton Cat has identified several other dangerous Marxist institutions operating openly in Maryland:

City councils.

Student councils.

Neighborhood councils.

Possibly even Councilmanic Districts, which sounds suspiciously like something Trotsky would have invented after zoning hearings.

Cox says that, as governor, he would work to repeal the citizen boards and restore what he describes as proper constitutional representation and due process for police.

Fair enough. That’s a policy argument.

But once Lenin gets dragged into a Maryland oversight-board dispute, The Canton Cat has questions.

Does every Police Accountability Board meeting begin with The Internationale?

Are commissioners issued tiny fur hats?

Does the agenda read:

6:00 PM — Call to Order
6:05 PM — Public Comment
6:30 PM — Overthrow Bourgeoisie
7:15 PM — Refreshments

Cox also promised to “renew our society” through what he called the true elected Constitution and republic.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Annapolis, an exhausted county attorney is probably discovering that the paperwork he thought was bureaucratic is actually the opening chapter of the Bolshevik Revolution.

The Canton Cat will continue monitoring Maryland for signs of Soviet infiltration.

So far we’ve found one red flag.

It was outside a crab house.

Reporting From Behind the Dumpster. 🐈