Wes Moore is celebrating one debate with Dan Cox while other gubernatorial candidates remain offstage. The Canton Cat wonders whether courage comes with a two-podium limit. Continue reading Wes Moore Schedules One Debate, Declares Democracy Fully Serviced
Maryland workers start paying into FAMLI in 2027, while benefits don’t begin until 2028. The Canton Cat investigates Annapolis’ favorite economic model: pay now, maybe later. Continue reading Annapolis Announces Exciting New Benefit: Paying for Something a Year Before You Get It
D.C. Councilmember Janeese Lewis George says statehood is a racial justice issue. The Canton Cat checks the history, the politics, and the dumpster behind the Capitol. Continue reading D.C. Councilmember Discovers 1791 Was Apparently About Her
Annapolis has fined Snow $1,250 for obstructing bike lanes and sidewalks, highlighting a commitment to climate accountability. While Snow plans to contest the violation, city officials emphasize the importance of impact over intent. A new Seasonal Accountability Task Force will be established to address future issues related to snow and transportation equity. Continue reading Annapolis Takes Bold Climate Action, Fines Snow for Obstructing Bike Lanes
Governor Wes Moore announced the Maryland Open-Air Living Initiative, transforming public spaces into “tarp-forward communities” amid critique labeling it tent cities. This satirical plan borrows from California’s housing model, promoting outdoor living while sparking debate on whether reduced enforcement could lead to severe homelessness issues. Critics emphasize the need for comprehensive supportive measures. Continue reading Governor Moore Announces “Maryland Open-Air Living Initiative,” Says Tents Are Just ‘Affordable Vertical Innovation Turned Sideways’
A group of monks on a peace walk inadvertently addressed Maryland’s affordability crisis in just five minutes at the State House, implementing substantial budget cuts and tax reductions with their simple, mindful approach. Their surprising efficiency contrasts sharply with years of bureaucratic efforts, leaving families to wonder why such solutions aren’t commonplace. Continue reading Orange-Robed Efficiency: Peace Walk Monks Arrive in Annapolis, Fix Maryland in 5 Minutes
David Trone’s campaign responds to criticism about staff absence at an ICE protest, claiming they operated in “Cena Mode” using John Cena-inspired clones for invisibility. This satire suggests innovative tactics like “Quantum Protest Presence” and highlights mixed public reactions, with supporters praising efficiency while skeptics question legitimacy. Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: Trone’s ICE Protest Attendance Upgraded to Phase II Invisibility — Now Featuring 5G Hologram Cena Units
Maryland and Virginia officials insist their newly redrawn congressional maps are perfectly legal—despite evidence they were impulse-bought on DealDash at 3:17 a.m. during a bidding war labeled “BUY IT NOW: DEMOCRACY.” Continue reading DealDash Democracy: Maryland and Virginia Accidentally Buy Their New Congressional Maps at 3:17 a.m.
Virginia Democrats unveiled a new congressional map that mistakenly merged parts of West Virginia into Virginia, creating unconventional district shapes. Officials learned via social media and expressed confusion over the change. Despite claims of inclusivity and fairness, critics labeled the map a chaotic design. Democrats promise to fix the error before the next election. Continue reading Virginia Democrats Unveil New District Map, Accidentally Annex West Virginia
The emerging Megalodon Party in Maryland is transitioning from a humorous concept to a strategic political entity, with Chris Van Hollen as a leading figure. Emphasizing aggressive engagement and strong media presence, the party aims to reflect a new approach to politics, favoring candidates who exhibit combative traits over consensus-building. Continue reading The Megalodon Party Gets Serious — and Sets Its Sights on Chris Van Hollen
