Tag: news

absurd politics, Campaigns, Global News, Government, Greenland, Military & Foreign Policy, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Fetterman Sets Sights North: Says He Hopes to Be “Senator of Greenland Someday”

John Fetterman humorously expressed his aspiration to become the Senator for Greenland, contingent on the U.S. purchasing the territory. His proposed campaign would focus on Arctic priorities like universal access to Carhartt and ice infrastructure. The remark sparked debate among lawmakers and critics, questioning the feasibility of such representation. Continue reading Fetterman Sets Sights North: Says He Hopes to Be “Senator of Greenland Someday”

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Global News, Government, Greenland, Overreach, Politics, Satire, world leaders

Greenland Isn’t for Sale (But We Put It in the Cart Anyway)

The U.S. has humorously engaged with Greenland’s potential value, despite Denmark’s firm reminder that it is neither for sale nor subject to U.S. acquisition. Officials insist it’s just an exploration of options, while NATO clarifies that such actions don’t fit existing defense protocols. The situation remains unresolved, with Greenland firmly rejecting any annexation notions. Continue reading Greenland Isn’t for Sale (But We Put It in the Cart Anyway)

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absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, New York, Satire, State, Urban Absurdity

Experts Warn Homeownership Is Latest Weapon of White Supremacy, Advise Whites To Immediately Become Renters

Housing activists claim homeownership has become a tool of white supremacy, perpetuating generational wealth and inequality. They argue that owning a home, rather than being a part of the American Dream, results in systemic oppression. In response, city officials propose measures to address these issues, sparking both support and criticism. Continue reading Experts Warn Homeownership Is Latest Weapon of White Supremacy, Advise Whites To Immediately Become Renters

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absurd politics, democrats, New York, Overreach, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever, State & Local

NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

New York’s new mayor has taken on his boldest challenge yet: fixing World Cup ticket prices for games not even played in New York. In a week where socialism met dynamic pricing, City Hall discovered that FIFA, geography, and reality may not be subject to municipal authority. Continue reading NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

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absurd politics, Congress & Power, Maryland, Politics, Satire, Series, Washington absurdity

Impeachment as Performance Art:

April McClain Delaney passionately calls for President Trump’s immediate impeachment over Venezuela’s crisis, bypassing traditional checks and balances. As Congress remains inactive, Delaney emphasizes urgency without moving toward a formal process. The performance critiques the repetitive nature of impeachment and highlights a disconnect between political theatrics and genuine governance. Continue reading Impeachment as Performance Art:

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absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

Maryland Governor Wes Moore recently acknowledged high electricity costs, framing it as a new discovery despite being in office for three years. Critics point out the state’s role in utility regulation and rate adjustments. The administration plans to address these issues through vague measures and task forces, offering little immediate relief to residents. Continue reading Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

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2026 Midterms Guide

The Totally Serious Introduction to the 2026 Midterm Elections

The 2026 midterm elections are critical yet often misrepresented as a single national event. They encompass all 435 House seats, a third of the Senate, and various state and local positions. Understanding their complexities is vital, as they impact daily life, even if chaos and urgency dominate election coverage. Continue reading The Totally Serious Introduction to the 2026 Midterm Elections

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Elections, Minnesota, Politics

Tim Walz Drops Out of 2026 Governor’s Race to “Focus on the Children” (Specifically, the Daycare Paperwork)

In a move aides are calling “bold,” “selfless,” and “please stop asking follow-up questions,” Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announced Monday that he is dropping out of the 2026 governor’s race—and reelection entirely—to refocus his energies on what he described as “Minnesota’s most important unfinished project: daycare centers.” Not roads.Not schools.Not public safety. Daycare centers. More precisely, the governor said he plans to spend his time … Continue reading Tim Walz Drops Out of 2026 Governor’s Race to “Focus on the Children” (Specifically, the Daycare Paperwork)

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Congress & Power, democrats, Politics, Washington absurdity

Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

The Democratic Party unveiled a new governing philosophy, reframing administrative failures as “bold investments in equity.” Critics cite mismanagement of federal funds, while Democrats propose reforms and emphasize intentions over accountability. They characterize inefficiency as integral, focusing on job creation rather than results, promising to assure voters with optimistic messaging. Continue reading Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, New York, Politics, public safety, State & Local, Transportation, Urban Absurdity

Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

New York’s newest mayor promised to govern for the people—and the subway made sure he did. When Mayor Mamdani finds himself waiting on a delayed train he now oversees, the revolution stops being theoretical and starts running local, crowded, and 47 minutes late. Continue reading Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

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