Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Marylanders, united in a rare bipartisan gesture, decided against New Year’s resolutions amid rumors of a proposed tax on personal goals to address the state’s budget deficit. This plan, dubbed “The Self-Improvement Responsibility Act,” would impose fees based on the ambition of resolutions, prompting creative adaptations by residents. Continue reading Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

Baltimore is celebrating its lowest murder rate in 48 years, proving once and for all that crime can be solved either through meaningful reform—or by sheer exhaustion and selective attention. When shootings and stabbings become background noise, even murder can slip quietly out of the headlines. Continue reading Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

The Onion Declares War on Local Vegetables, Crushes Maryland Satire Site in Defense of Corporate Humor Monopoly

The Onion has taken a stand against a small Maryland satire site, Montgonion, claiming trademark dilution. After receiving a cease-and-desist, the site rebranded to Montgomery Leek, highlighting the absurdity of corporate control in comedy. This incident underscores the tension between creative freedom and commercial interests in satire. Long live the Leek. Continue reading The Onion Declares War on Local Vegetables, Crushes Maryland Satire Site in Defense of Corporate Humor Monopoly

Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

Maryland Governor Wes Moore introduced a controversial redistricting proposal aimed at addressing homeowner association fees, claiming it promotes equity and representation. Critics argue it’s gerrymandering for personal gain, while supporters see it as innovative governance. The plan may redefine district lines to eliminate certain HOA fees for Moore’s neighborhood, sparking debate. Continue reading Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

The poem humorously depicts the frantic energy of Senator Chris Van Hollen on the eve of “Trump-mas.” Filled with outrage, he rushes to address the media, fixating on Donald Trump’s influence and actions. His theatrical condemnation draws attention, revealing his obsession and the relentless cycle of political engagement surrounding Trump. Continue reading ’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

All I Want for Christmas Is More Outrage

The parody captures a satirical Christmas wish for escalating outrage, particularly toward Donald Trump. It expresses a desire for controversy over calmness, highlighting a preference for sensational headlines and news commentary instead of traditional holiday cheer. The tone critiques media sensationalism, suggesting outrage fuels contemporary political discourse. Continue reading All I Want for Christmas Is More Outrage

REAL OR FAKE: The Wes Moore Edition

“Real or Fake” is a political satire game featuring Maryland Governor Wes Moore. Contestants navigate statements about his life, questioning their truthfulness. With rounds focusing on military accolades, academic claims, and biographical discrepancies, the game emphasizes confusion and scrutiny in politics, ultimately challenging perceptions of honesty and resume embellishment. Continue reading REAL OR FAKE: The Wes Moore Edition

Maryland Commissions New Study to Determine Whether Last Study Was Ready to Be Studied

Maryland has once again proven its commitment to evidence-based inaction, as Governor Wes Moore announces a brand-new study to determine whether the last study was sufficiently prepared to be studied. Officials insist it’s not a delay—it’s “sequencing.” Continue reading Maryland Commissions New Study to Determine Whether Last Study Was Ready to Be Studied

🏆 Montgomery County, Maryland: Virtue Signaling Capital of the World™

Montgomery County, Maryland, prioritizes symbolic gestures over practical governance. Despite a multitude of resolutions and bans, real issues like crumbling infrastructure and affordable housing are neglected. The county focuses on moral superiority and public image, often at the expense of citizen needs, resulting in superficial legislation and ongoing challenges. Continue reading 🏆 Montgomery County, Maryland: Virtue Signaling Capital of the World™

Is Justin Ready… Running for President? Local Senator Accused of Caring Too Much

Maryland State Senator Justin Ready’s public appearances have sparked speculation about a possible presidential run. While he denies any campaign intentions, his activities, such as attending school meetings and engaging with constituents, have led to humorous discourse among locals. Observers note his politeness and competence, raising eyebrows in today’s political climate. Continue reading Is Justin Ready… Running for President? Local Senator Accused of Caring Too Much