CDC Declares Lettuce Outbreak Over Moments Before Feds Discover Cabbage Trafficking a Metric Shit-Ton of Meth

The CDC declared the Cyclospora outbreak linked to iceberg lettuce over, but federal agents in Texas discovered over 2,000 pounds of methamphetamine concealed in cabbage shipments. This ironic twist led to humorous commentary on the neglect of cabbage while lettuce faced scrutiny. Investigators continue their search for the perpetrators behind the hidden drugs. Continue reading CDC Declares Lettuce Outbreak Over Moments Before Feds Discover Cabbage Trafficking a Metric Shit-Ton of Meth

Liberals Furious After Border Patrol Fails to Politely Be Run Over by Gang Members

Portland erupted in outrage after Border Patrol agents declined to be run over by suspected gang members outside a federal ICE facility, prompting activists and media alike to question whether self-defense is still acceptable when it interferes with the narrative. Continue reading Liberals Furious After Border Patrol Fails to Politely Be Run Over by Gang Members