Category: State & Local

absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Maryland’s Budget Gap Explained: Gov. Wes Moore Says It’s Basically Pokémon and Warhammer

As Maryland stares into a growing fiscal abyss, Gov. Wes Moore unveiled a bold plan to spend billions anyway — and when asked where the money would come from, he didn’t say “taxes,” “cuts,” or even “borrowing.” Instead, he talked about Pokémon cards, Warhammer battles, and trusting the lore. Economists remain confused. Gamers feel oddly seen. Continue reading Maryland’s Budget Gap Explained: Gov. Wes Moore Says It’s Basically Pokémon and Warhammer

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government, immigration, Law Enforcement, National Security, Oregon, Politics, public safety, Satire, State & Local, Urban Absurdity

Liberals Furious After Border Patrol Fails to Politely Be Run Over by Gang Members

Portland erupted in outrage after Border Patrol agents declined to be run over by suspected gang members outside a federal ICE facility, prompting activists and media alike to question whether self-defense is still acceptable when it interferes with the narrative. Continue reading Liberals Furious After Border Patrol Fails to Politely Be Run Over by Gang Members

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, Politics, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics, Urban Absurdity

BREAKING: Minneapolis Announces New Civic Program — “Riot & Hide”

In a satirical press conference, Tim Walz and Jacob Frey introduced a controversial “transparency initiative” involving hired protesters to distract from political issues. With various teams promoting chaotic demonstrations and a cover-up described as a “healing exercise,” analysts deemed it a strategy of “chaotic neutral governance,” deflecting accountability amidst rising public outrage. Continue reading BREAKING: Minneapolis Announces New Civic Program — “Riot & Hide”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, New York, Overreach, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever, State & Local

NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

New York’s new mayor has taken on his boldest challenge yet: fixing World Cup ticket prices for games not even played in New York. In a week where socialism met dynamic pricing, City Hall discovered that FIFA, geography, and reality may not be subject to municipal authority. Continue reading NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

Maryland Governor Wes Moore recently acknowledged high electricity costs, framing it as a new discovery despite being in office for three years. Critics point out the state’s role in utility regulation and rate adjustments. The administration plans to address these issues through vague measures and task forces, offering little immediate relief to residents. Continue reading Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, New York, Politics, public safety, State & Local, Transportation, Urban Absurdity

Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

New York’s newest mayor promised to govern for the people—and the subway made sure he did. When Mayor Mamdani finds himself waiting on a delayed train he now oversees, the revolution stops being theoretical and starts running local, crowded, and 47 minutes late. Continue reading Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, California, democrats, Politics, Satire, State & Local

“Newsom Vows to ‘Fight’ Billionaire Wealth Tax — By Fundraising with Billionaires in His New $9M Mansion”

Gavin Newsom says California’s proposed wealth tax would scare off billionaires — a warning he delivered from his $9 million mansion while fundraising with the very people he claims are ready to flee. Nothing says “fight inequality” like clinking glasses with tech bros thanking him for the heads-up. Continue reading “Newsom Vows to ‘Fight’ Billionaire Wealth Tax — By Fundraising with Billionaires in His New $9M Mansion”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Marylanders, united in a rare bipartisan gesture, decided against New Year’s resolutions amid rumors of a proposed tax on personal goals to address the state’s budget deficit. This plan, dubbed “The Self-Improvement Responsibility Act,” would impose fees based on the ambition of resolutions, prompting creative adaptations by residents. Continue reading Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Arizona, Government, Law & Order, Politics, public safety, Satire, State & Local

POLICE NEARLY TACKLE DRIVER AFTER HIGH-SPEED CHASE UNTIL HE IDENTIFIES HIMSELF AS “COUNCILMAN-ADJACENT”

A high-speed chase, a near tackle, and a politician seconds away from eating asphalt—all undone by four magic words. In this satirical breakdown, a local official discovers that nothing slows the law down faster than identifying yourself. Continue reading POLICE NEARLY TACKLE DRIVER AFTER HIGH-SPEED CHASE UNTIL HE IDENTIFIES HIMSELF AS “COUNCILMAN-ADJACENT”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Government, Minnesota, Politics, Press & Free Speech, State, State & Local

Minnesota Declares Investigative Journalism a Border Violation After Reporter Starts Asking Questions

Minnesota officials drew the line at journalism this week after investigative reporter Nick Shirley showed up, asked questions, and filmed allegedly empty daycare centers receiving millions in taxpayer funds—prompting a swift political backlash, a viral scandal, and an unceremonious escort out of the state. Continue reading Minnesota Declares Investigative Journalism a Border Violation After Reporter Starts Asking Questions

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment