PLYMOUTH, MA — The lone holdout juror in the Lindsay Clancy trial was reportedly added to 764’s enemies list Friday after exhibiting a dangerous and increasingly rare condition:

residual human conscience.

The unidentified juror allegedly alarmed members of the online abuse network by refusing to simply nod along, hit “agree,” and move on with his day like a well-adjusted citizen of the internet.

“He appears to be independently processing the deaths of three children,” one anonymous 764 account reportedly posted.

“Highly suspicious.”

The juror’s behavior became even more disturbing when he reportedly continued asking questions about criminal responsibility, evidence, and whether the law still expected individual jurors to think for themselves.

764 immediately issued an internal alert:

WARNING: SUBJECT MAY POSSESS EMPATHY

Additional symptoms included:

• discomfort with dead children
• resistance to group pressure
• independent judgment
• reading instructions before clicking “accept”
• apparently having a soul

Experts say these are all deeply concerning behaviors in certain corners of the modern internet.

“We’ve spent years conditioning people to treat cruelty like content, suffering like engagement, and human beings like disposable usernames,” explained one totally fictional 764 moderator.

“Then this guy walks into jury duty and starts acting like actions have consequences.”

“Frankly, it’s offensive.”

The Canton Cat reviewed the evidence and confirmed the diagnosis.

Human conscience. Advanced case.

I see it occasionally behind dumpsters.

Usually in raccoons.

The holdout juror reportedly became especially unpopular after failing to understand the modern social rule that once eleven people agree with something, the twelfth person is legally required to shut up and update his profile picture.

“Consensus has spoken,” explained one internet philosopher whose education consists primarily of Discord servers and untreated rage.

“Thinking after that point is harassment.”

Authorities say 764 members were particularly disturbed by reports that the juror may have been emotionally affected by the fact that three children were dead.

“This is exactly the kind of dangerous sentimentality we warn people about,” said another fictional administrator.

“You start caring about victims, next thing you know you’re developing morality.”

At press time, 764 was reportedly considering adding several other dangerous behaviors to its watchlist:

Compassion.

Accountability.

Protecting children.

Logging off.

The Canton Cat has already endorsed the last one.

Strongly.

Preferably forever.