Markets plummeted sharply after actress Sydney Sweeney appeared in a turtleneck, triggering widespread consumer panic and significant economic repercussions. Retail spending collapsed, and corporate layoffs were announced. The Federal Reserve held an emergency session, introducing the Turtleneck Asset Relief Program. A brief recovery occurred when Sweeney was photographed sans coat. Continue reading Sydney Sweeney Apologizes for Sports Ad by Wearing Turtleneck, America Enters Recession