<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!-- generator="wordpress.com" -->
<urlset xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance"
	xsi:schemaLocation="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9 http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9/sitemap.xsd"
	xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9"
	xmlns:news="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-news/0.9"
	xmlns:image="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-image/1.1"
	>
<url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/20/fonzie-jump-the-shark-revenge-49-years-later/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-20T19:12:48+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Shark From 1977 ‘Happy Days’ Stunt Claims Fonzie Jump Was Rigged, Vows Revenge After 49 Years</news:title><news:keywords>Satire, pop culture satire, comedy, hollywood satire, Canton Cat, television history, Happy Days, Henry Winkler, classic television, 1970s TV, Fonzie, jump the shark, shark revenge</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-721.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/20/wes-moore-appears-on-cnn-activates-emergency-smile-hopes-nobody-checks-the-footnotes/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-20T18:30:28+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Wes Moore Appears on CNN, Activates Emergency Smile, Hopes Nobody Checks the Footnotes</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland Governor, media appearances, annapolis, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, artificial intelligence, CNN State of the Union, National Governors Association</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-715.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/20/chris-van-hollen-crashes-wedding-political-speech/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-20T18:08:54+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Chris Van Hollen Crashes Another Wedding, Grabs Microphone, Announces Democracy Is in Danger Until Bartender Cuts Him Off</news:title><news:keywords>trump, political satire, Maryland politics, chris van hollen, Congress, ice, maryland democrats, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Iran war, wedding satire, Democratic agenda, Reporting From Behind the Dumpster</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-709.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/20/jamie-raskin-maryland-8th-district-constitutional-emergency/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-20T17:49:34+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Jamie Raskin Alarmed to Discover Maryland’s 8th District Contains People Who Aren’t Jamie Raskin</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, Maryland politics, Montgomery County, washington politics, democracy, maryland elections, Congress, Jamie Raskin, Canton Cat, Cheryl Riley, House Judiciary Committee, Maryland 8th District, MD-08</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-703.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/20/florida-couple-opens-mobile-home-drug-drive-thru-immediately-gets-five-star-reviews-for-convenience-and-one-star-review-from-sheriff/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-20T06:39:44+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Florida Couple Opens Mobile-Home Drug Drive-Thru, Immediately Gets Five-Star Reviews for Convenience and One-Star Review From Sheriff</news:title><news:keywords>political humor, Law Enforcement, absurd news, Canton Cat, weird news, Florida satire, Florida crime, mobile home, Florida Man, viral news, trailer park, Florida, drive-thru, crime satire, drug bust</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-696.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/esther-wells-releases-the-accountant-campaign-poster-montgomery-county-budget-immediately-requests-witness-protection/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T20:29:17+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Esther Wells Releases ‘The Accountant’ Campaign Poster, Montgomery County Budget Immediately Requests Witness Protection</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, government spending, Maryland politics, Montgomery County, taxpayer money, Canton Cat, Esther Wells, Will Jawando, Montgomery County Executive, CPA, county budget, zero-based budgeting, The Accountant</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-695.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/lauren-boebert-ethics-complaint-allegedly-requires-hr-to-replace-org-chart-with-relationship-flowchart/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T19:49:11+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Lauren Boebert Ethics Complaint Allegedly Requires HR to Replace Org Chart With Relationship Flowchart</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, washington scandal, Congress, Canton Cat, Lauren Boebert, congressional ethics, Republican politics, staff relationships, staffers, workplace ethics, House Ethics Committee, ethics complaint, campaign payments, HR satire</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-690.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/chris-van-hollen-unveils-bold-democratic-strategy-for-2026-dig-up-fdr-put-john-lewis-on-a-tote-bag-hope-nobody-asks-what-year-it-is/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T19:37:09+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Chris Van Hollen Unveils Bold Democratic Strategy for 2026: Dig Up FDR, Put John Lewis on a Tote Bag, Hope Nobody Asks What Year It Is</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, democrats, democratic party, Washington DC, chris van hollen, campaign strategy, 2026 politics, Canton Cat, Franklin Roosevelt, FDR, New Deal, legacy politics, John Lewis</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-684.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/police-k-9-arrested-after-allegedly-stealing-officers-lunch-refuses-to-snitch-demands-union-rep/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T18:40:44+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Police K-9 Arrested After Allegedly Stealing Officer’s Lunch, Refuses to Snitch, Demands Union Rep</news:title><news:keywords>Canton Cat, lunch theft, Wyandotte Police Department, stolen lunch, animal satire, qualified immunity, mugshot, police K-9, police dog, Fifth Amendment, police satire, German shepherd</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-675.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/montgomery-county-police-chief-resigns-after-inspector-general-discovers-county-apparently-has-an-unlimited-pto-plan-for-executives/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T06:36:12+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Montgomery County Police Chief Resigns After Inspector General Discovers County Apparently Has an Unlimited PTO Plan for Executives</news:title><news:keywords>Montgomery County, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Montgomery County Police, Marc Elrich, county government, Inspector General, county vehicles, ethics, timecards, Marc Yamada, leave abuse, Montgomery County satire, executive misconduct, police chief resignation</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-668.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/maryland-begins-welfare-check-on-reid-wiseman-after-astronaut-spotted-wearing-same-nasa-suit-for-73rd-consecutive-public-appearance/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T06:12:41+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Maryland Begins Welfare Check on Reid Wiseman After Astronaut Spotted Wearing Same NASA Suit for 73rd Consecutive Public Appearance</news:title><news:keywords>Maryland, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, BWI, Baltimore County, NASA flight suit, Dulaney High School, Artemis II, Reid Wiseman, space satire, NASA, Ravens, laundry, weird Maryland, astronaut, moon, science, space, artemis</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-661.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/19/maryland-man-spots-timber-rattlesnake-sugarloaf-satire/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-19T05:51:29+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Normal Maryland Man Encounters Venomous Snake, Somehow Just Takes Picture and Moves On With His Life</news:title><news:keywords>writing, political satire, Maryland, Montgomery County, government satire, nature, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Frederick County, weird Maryland news, Maryland wildlife, timber rattlesnake, Sugarloaf Mountain, outdoors, hiking, venomous snakes, common sense, snake, snakes</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-655.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/18/c-anthony-muse-land-rover-annapolis-satire/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-18T21:08:35+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Maryland Senator’s Land Rover Applies for State Employment After Successfully Surviving Annapolis Incident</news:title><news:keywords>books, Politics, political satire, Maryland politics, annapolis, Bill Ferguson, food, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, technology, Maryland Senate, Maryland State Police, Land Rover, C. Anthony Muse</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-648.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/18/hasan-piker-california-mental-institution-satire/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-18T19:35:43+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>California Admits Hasan Piker Escaped From State-Run Facility for Terminally Online Opinions After Guard Budget Reallocated to Diversity Consultant</news:title><news:keywords>writing, news, Politics, political satire, California, America, democratic party, progressive politics, bernie sanders, Canton Cat, Abdul El-Sayed, socialism, Hasan Piker, streaming culture, media, online politics, podcast satire, Twitch</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-642.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url></urlset>
