https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/02/montgomery-county-opens-another-government-liquor-store-because-apparently-even-getting-drunk-needs-bureaucracy/The Canton Caten2026-09-02T04:30:00+00:00Montgomery County Opens Another Government Liquor Store Because Apparently Even Getting Drunk Needs Bureaucracypolitical satire, Maryland politics, Montgomery County politics, Montgomery County, bureaucracy, local government, Canton Cat, Gaithersburg, Flower Hill, government liquor store, bourbon, liquor store, ABS, Alcohol Beverage Serviceshttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-25.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/deadlocked-lindsay-clancy-jury-sent-home-after-realizing-another-day-means-another-free-lunch/The Canton Caten2026-09-02T03:59:29+00:00Deadlocked Lindsay Clancy Jury Sent Home After Realizing Another Day Means Another Free LunchSatire, legal satire, History, crime, Canton Cat, free lunch, Massachusetts, Lindsay Clancy trial, hung jury, Lindsay Clancy, courtroom satire, jury duty, jury deadlock, jury deliberations, Massachusetts news, true-crime, murderhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-51.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/maryland-child-support-awareness-parenting-time-enforcement-satire/The Canton Caten2026-09-02T03:50:24+00:00Maryland Celebrates Child Support Awareness Month, Reminds Parents Actual Children Are a Separate Departmentparental rights, child custody, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Maryland child support, parenting time, Child Support Awareness Month, custody enforcement, Maryland family court, family law satire, court orders, parenting-time enforcementhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-45.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/normal-local-man-posts-article-quote-accidentally-alters-maryland-political-landscape-before-breakfast/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T16:38:23+00:00Normal Local Man Posts Article Quote, Accidentally Alters Maryland Political Landscape Before Breakfastwriting, books, news, Politics, political satire, political commentary, History, Maryland politics, Montgomery County, annapolis, local politics, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Greg, political consultants, Maryland Twitter, social media, media, campaign operativeshttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-40.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/andy-ellis-demands-four-way-governor-debate-accidentally-invents-maryland-political-battle-royale/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T16:21:47+00:00Andy Ellis Demands Four-Way Governor Debate, Accidentally Invents Maryland Political Battle Royalepolitical satire, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland Governor, annapolis, maryland elections, andy ellis, campaign humor, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Dan Cox, governor debate, Maryland gubernatorial race, two-party system, political battle royalehttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-35.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/prince-georges-school-bus-problems-chipmunk-satire/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T15:57:32+00:00Prince George’s Schools Announce Bus Problems Will Improve As Soon As They Locate the Busespolitical satire, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, school buses, Upper Marlboro, PGCPS, Maryland schools, Prince George’s County, Maryland education, Prince George’s County Public Schools, school transportation, Chipmunk app, bus delays, education humorhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-30.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/montgomery-county-announces-bold-new-education-plan-simply-hope-september-gets-colder/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T06:35:27+00:00Montgomery County Announces Bold New Education Plan: Simply Hope September Gets Colderpolitical satire, Maryland politics, county executive race, Montgomery County, Canton Cat, MCPS, public schools, Montgomery County Council, Vision Zero, Esther Wells, school HVAC, Will Jawando, education spendinghttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-20.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/maryland-candidate-walks-186-miles-accidentally-becomes-states-most-successful-transportation-project/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T05:41:33+00:00Maryland Candidate Walks 186 Miles, Accidentally Becomes State’s Most Successful Transportation Projectpolitical satire, political humor, Maryland politics, campaign satire, maryland elections, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Maryland transportation, Fitzgerald Mofor, Maryland House of Delegates, Howard County, Restore Marylandhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-15.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/kimberly-klacik-announces-shes-trying-something-different-baltimore-braces-for-possibility-of-normal-morning/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T05:25:24+00:00Kimberly Klacik Announces She’s “Trying Something Different,” Baltimore Braces for Possibility of Normal Morningpolitical satire, political commentary, Maryland politics, Baltimore politics, campaign humor, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, Kimberly Klacik, X politics, political Twitter, Baltimore satirehttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-10.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/exclusive-hasan-pikers-secret-life-as-an-nfl-cheerleader-finally-exposed/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T05:16:33+00:00EXCLUSIVE: Hasan Piker’s Secret Life as an NFL Cheerleader Finally Exposedpolitical satire, political humor, sports satire, sports, socialism satire, nfl, NFL parody, Canton Cat, NFL cheerleader, Hasan Piker, HasanAbi, streaming culture, fitnesshttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-5.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/01/wes-moore-posts-icymi-maryland-residents-unfortunately-did-not-miss-it/The Canton Caten2026-09-01T04:47:04+00:00Wes Moore Posts “ICYMI,” Maryland Residents Unfortunately Did Not Miss Itpolitical satire, political humor, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland Governor, annapolis, maryland democrats, governor wes moore, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, All Things Go, ICYMI, Department of Vibes, Ke$hahttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/08/31/wes-moore-takes-break-from-governing-maryland-to-moderate-florida-twitter-fight/The Canton Caten2026-08-31T23:33:45+00:00Wes Moore Takes Break From Governing Maryland to Moderate Florida Twitter Fight2026 elections, Florida politics, Politics, political satire, political humor, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland Governor, Maryland taxes, democratic party, annapolis, conservative satire, governor wes moore, Canton Cat, Laura Loomer, social media politics, Angie Nixon, Ashley Moody, right-leaning satire, BGE bills, national politics, affordability, Maryland roads, presidential speculation, technologyhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/image-20.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/08/31/chris-van-hollen-and-jamie-raskin-allegedly-discover-socialisms-final-boss-stealing-the-poor-mans-beer/The Canton Caten2026-08-31T23:17:34+00:00Chris Van Hollen and Jamie Raskin Allegedly Discover Socialism’s Final Boss: Stealing the Poor Man’s Beerpolitical satire, Maryland politics, working class, democrats, California, chris van hollen, Jamie Raskin, Canton Cat, beer heist, PBR, Montclair California, blue collar voters, Pabst Blue Ribbon, socialist candidates, redistribution, socialismhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/image-21.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/08/31/abdul-el-sayed-launches-senate-campaigns-first-hostage-video-aesthetic-staffers-asked-to-blink-twice/The Canton Caten2026-08-31T22:52:39+00:00Abdul El-Sayed Launches Senate Campaign’s First Hostage-Video Aesthetic, Staffers Asked to Blink Twicewriting, news, 2026 elections, Politics, political satire, political humor, democratic party, election satire, campaign messaging, religion, Democratic primary, Canton Cat, campaign consultants, Michigan Senate race, awkward campaign moments, Mallory McMorrow, Michigan politics, Michigan Democrats, voter authenticity, Abdul El-Sayed, Haley Stevens, campaign video, Senate election, political communications, palestinehttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/image-11.png?w=150https://cantoncat.com/2026/08/31/dnc-talks-to-10000-nonvoters-canton-cat-talks-to-37-people-behind-a-wawa-and-finds-democrats-have-bigger-problems/The Canton Caten2026-08-31T21:49:25+00:00DNC Talks to 10,000 Nonvoters, Canton Cat Talks to 37 People Behind a Wawa and Finds Democrats Have Bigger Problemswriting, news, Politics, political satire, political humor, voter outreach, DNC, election strategy, democratic party, Elections, democracy, conservative satire, cost of living, 2026 midterms, political messaging, Canton Cat, right-leaning satire, working-class voters, Local Listeners, campaign consultants, Wawa, voter turnout, polling satire, nonvoters, Democratic National Committee, Ken Martin, voter frustrationhttps://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/image-5.png?w=150