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satire</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-85.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/02/berney-flowers-barry-white-campaign-album-satire/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-03T03:50:22+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Berney Flowers Announces Soul Album to Seduce Maryland Voters One Ballad at a Time</news:title><news:keywords>Satire, Politics, political satire, political humor, Maryland politics, campaign satire, congressional race, Canton Cat, Berney Flowers campaign, Sarah Elfreth, Barry White, soul music parody, Maryland congressional election, Berney Flowers, campaign 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