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<url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/04/wes-moore-launches-lunch-vlog-where-every-maryland-problem-is-apparently-trump-wearing-a-fake-mustache/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-04T06:56:59+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Wes Moore Launches Lunch Vlog Where Every Maryland Problem Is Apparently Trump Wearing a Fake Mustache</news:title><news:keywords>news, Politics, Donald Trump, political satire, History, american-revolution, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland taxes, annapolis, utility bills, Maryland satire, Canton Cat, small business Maryland, Maryland affordability, business costs, Trump tariffs, Maryland utility costs, Maryland regulations, small business satire, small business costs, business regulations, Maryland small business, tariffs</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-127.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/04/maria-bartiromo-leaves-fox-news-to-host-finding-mitch-nations-most-hopeless-missing-person-investigation/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-04T06:40:43+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Maria Bartiromo Leaves Fox News To Host ‘Finding Mitch,’ Nation’s Most Hopeless Missing-Person Investigation</news:title><news:keywords>Satire, Politics, Donald Trump, political satire, Washington DC, parody, Congress, Mitch McConnell, Canton Cat, Republican Party, Fox News, Senate Republicans, Fox Business, Maria Bartiromo, Sunday Morning Futures, 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3</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-112.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/04/maryland-supreme-court-rules-democrats-may-ask-voters-for-permission-to-gerrymander-harder/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-04T05:43:31+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Maryland Supreme Court Rules Democrats May Ask Voters For Permission To Gerrymander Harder</news:title><news:keywords>news, Politics, Donald Trump, political satire, History, Maryland politics, Wes Moore, Maryland, annapolis, gerrymandering, 2026 election, maryland democrats, Bill Ferguson, Maryland redistricting, Supreme Court of Maryland, congressional redistricting, Question 3, Andy Harris, The Canton Cat</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-107.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/03/montgomery-county-celebrates-250-years-by-introducing-revolutionary-new-program-work-off-your-back-taxes-like-its-1776/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-03T19:10:14+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Montgomery County Celebrates 250 Years by Introducing Revolutionary New Program: Work Off Your Back Taxes Like It’s 1776</news:title><news:keywords>news, Maryland politics, Montgomery County, local government satire, Maryland satire, Montgomery County Council, Rockville, back taxes, Marc Elrich, Montgomery County 250th anniversary, property taxes, tax satire, indentured servitude parody</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/historic_tax_repayment_workforce.jpg?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/03/flock-announces-cameras-will-now-defend-themselves-apparently-tired-of-being-bullied-by-people-with-hoodies/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-03T18:12:58+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Flock Announces Cameras Will Now Defend Themselves, Apparently Tired Of Being Bullied By People With Hoodies</news:title><news:keywords>news, Politics, political satire, ai, tech satire, Canton Cat, technology, Garrett Langley, Flock cameras, surveillance satire, police technology, Flock Safety, camera systems, privacy, license plate readers, anti-tampering, Liam Neeson parody, police</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-99.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/03/democratic-socialists-announce-breathing-oxygen-is-a-legacy-of-white-supremacy/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-03T09:23:43+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Democratic Socialists Announce Breathing Oxygen Is “A Legacy of White Supremacy”</news:title><news:keywords>writing, news, Politics, political satire, political humor, parody news, progressive politics, socialism satire, Canton Cat, Democratic Socialists of America, community respiration, woke satire, Air Is Not Neutral, cultural satire, DSA, 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Madness</news:keywords></news:news><image:image><image:loc>https://cantoncat.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/image-70.png?w=150</image:loc></image:image></url><url><loc>https://cantoncat.com/2026/09/02/cheryl-riley-backs-maryland-sheriffs-jamie-raskin-reportedly-begins-47-minute-lecture-explaining-why-arresting-criminals-is-actually-complicated/</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Canton Cat</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-09-02T21:54:40+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Cheryl Riley Backs Maryland Sheriffs; Jamie Raskin Reportedly Begins 47-Minute Lecture Explaining Why Arresting Criminals Is Actually Complicated</news:title><news:keywords>political satire, Maryland politics, Montgomery County, Law Enforcement, ice, immigration enforcement, sanctuary policies, Jamie Raskin, Canton Cat, Jeffrey Gahler, Cheryl Riley, Jamie Raskin satire, Maryland sheriffs, MD-8, Cheryl Riley 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